Sunday 29th January 2017

Today is the Gay Father’s old birthday. He would have been 96.

Val’s been on the phone and in person in January. He seems to be taking dry January quite seriously. We picked over pip bags for marmalade making. ‘Mine’s of silk organza,’ Val proclaimed. ‘I haven’t got butter muslin in stock.’  Otherwise we’ve been challenged by fabric stiffener as Val re-makes some bespoke conical hanging lampshades I have from the 80s. Val’s stiffener is antique and toxic. You need to be in the wastes of Antartica if you’re not to be gassed by its fumes. So we tried Amazon. It’s hard to find out about the products except from the on-line comments; in this case the online fabric-stiffening community is much pre-occupied with stiffening crochet, in particular crochet-ed people who are then stuck on to some monumental piece of crochet presumably to create a heroic scene. Perhaps Reggie Cresswell, the renowned Ghanaian ceramicist, could go down the crochet path if ceramic ever gets too much.

Anyway, the long and short is, we ordered some fabric stiffener and it works a treat. It looks as if the lampshades will be re-made but Val is currently diverted by his bathroom floor. He wanted to go to B and Q.

His silk organza pip bag for marmalade making was no good – too fine.

So I took Val to B and Q. We were actually served by a charming man (although resembling Jimmy Saville as to wig) who found all the rare things Val wanted while I pushed the trolley. In the car park was an abandoned trolley. I was reminded of the famous scene in the car park of Leclerq Paris (it’s a French supermarket) when Laura Malcolm was challenged over her trolley conduct by a Parisian zero-calorie Greatness: ‘Et vos chariot?’ the starved woman shrieked, rattling the contraption as it stood not returned to the chariot pen. Of course Laura fired back in full French with subjunctives and everything: ‘The attendants here collect them. It’s a valet service. Did you not know?’

The great thing is that the French for supermarket trolley is ‘chariot’.

Val’s only regret was that, owing to the lay-out of roads, we didn’t get the beauty of a full circulation of the Chiswick roundabout on leaving B and Q.

Val’s now finished re-laying his bathroom floor. It’s good enough for Fred and Ginger to have tapped their way across, he says. His spirits are high. ‘Thank you so much for taking part in that Superstore dash,’ he writes. ‘Your handling of the chariot put me very much in mind of dear old Charlton Heston in Ben Hur….the Coliseum never saw anything like it!’

One of the Conical Shades that Val is Re-Making, Using the Original Frames

The Last of the Famous Christmas Quenelle Mixture Served as Mousse by Val

Val’s Knitting: This is not the Norwayan Alpine Style but Every Stitch is Different

Laura Malcolm Paid a Family Visit to the Wight’s Isle