What was Rutland’s Duchess Launching? «

What was Rutland’s Duchess Launching?

Thursday 15th October 2015

Many might look at a life like mine and think it indescribable. What must it be like to be him? To wear outfits and go to functions on a non-paying basis – for it is indeed true that the higher you go the less you pay. Last week I was lurking outside Christie’s King Street (no lower-rung Christie’s South Kensington, thank you very much), telephoning to Robert Nevil before the Duchess of Rutland’s mystery launch. ‘Oh look,’ I said down to the line. ‘Lansdowne Reindorp is arriving.’ Completely thrilling. He’s of Palm Beach but also very significant in the City of London and was wearing an incredibly good quality country-for-town look with brown shoes. ‘I’ve got a friend for the launch,’ I shrieked, cutting off Robert Nevil, and together we ascended the grand escalier to the state rooms of Christie’s on the first floor. Why were we there? Why was Liz Hurley there? Lansdowne introduced an American from Palm Beach who is President of a society devoted to British Art. A sculptor wanted to install a major tribute to Capability Brown. Would we pay for it? She was rather insistent about it. £60,000 required. I fell into conversation with a young man might have had some notion of what was going on. ‘I’ve been to Belvoir,’ I said. I went years ago with Val. ‘That saloon – just like a hotel.’ ‘Oh that’s rather unfair,’ the young man was put out. ‘When you’re with the family there, it’s charming.’ Then a handsome woman of sixty-odd, superbly bred and in quite a modern short-sleeved pink shift dress, addressed the throng. ‘I’m the chairman of the Capability Brown society…. so difficult.. one’s agent throws up his hands in horror…. what they’ve done… medals all round… must make way for the Duchess.’ So the Duchess, breathy, handsome … ‘we found the plans…. they are authentic… my dyslexia… but I had lovely…. to help me…. absolutely nobody would touch it… ‘ All the while a film was playing on the wall above the Duchess, showing Alan Titchmarsh in winter, squeezing vile mud through his fingers while mechanical diggers swivelled in fields in the background. ‘So look I’ve got 5000 copies to shift…. £35 … would you? … Christmas coming up.’ Finally the pieces fell together. The Duchess had written a book about Capability Brown on the back of plans being found at Belvoir which were never executed until now – with Alan Titchmarsh involved. Apparently the Rutlands sold a Tinteret at Christie’s for £15 million. That is what she meant when she thanked Christie’s for all that they had done for her family. Then the Rutland private poet read a poem for the occasion except that the reader wasn’t the private poet but quite a well-known therapist and counsellor in the Chelsea area known to the Poor Little Rich Gays already in several ways not least through being his patients. So once again, connected and belonging.

Lady Weymouth was seen – as seen on TV. Very fresh and lovely in person. I ended the evening being briefed by an exceptionally contemporary young man with the smallest eyes about a film called The Imposter. I formed the impression he was the producer but I don’t think he was. Then I departed Christie’s while the going was good.