Terribly Cheap Dinner in Vienna «

Terribly Cheap Dinner in Vienna

Saturday 4th July 2015

Our first dinner in Vienna was not a classic Viennese all-meat affair but at least, as Reggie Cresswell often mentioned afterwards, it was terribly cheap. Thinking that we were ordinary diners with a reservation, we were received at Steirereck im Stadtpark, which had a clean, Scand feel of wood and glass. But the Maître d’ had not only been at one of Harry Rollo’s perfs but had arranged appropriate lettering to shimmer through the tablecloth in a mystic manner. Champagne was lavished, possibly free and the pre amuses were brought. Luckily there was an accompanying explanatory card although some of the items did not resemble the description. ‘Peanut with Rhubarb’, for instance, was a peanut with a red coating somehow baked on. There were 14 pre-amuse. ‘Wheat cracker with nasturtium’, ‘Duck egg with watercress and berberis’, ‘Lupin with green pepper’ and Iced Oyster Water. Another card explained the ways in which a person might be allergic to each of them. In Vienna restaurants have to point out any possible allergy trap a diner might fall into, so it was a brilliant coup d’chef and possibly an example of Germanic humour to assemble a collection of pre-amuse illustrating the entire array of known food allergies.

All this before we got anywhere near dishes actually ordered. My first course was Char, a trout-like fish, cooked at the table in hot beeswax left to cool and solidify. Another card was produced to explain the dish, so now I can read that it was accompanied by boiled and marinated yellow carrot, jellied yellow carrot and apple juice infused with beeswax, sour cream with cayenne pepper and lime, char caviar strewn with a yellow carrot and quince vinegar ‘pollen’ and finally basil cress. I can’t say, one week later, I’ve got much grasp of any of this, apart from the piece of fish itself which was of sufficient size to make an impact. This beeswax method of cooking could be tried at home if you have a tin of Antiquax or similar classic furniture polish to hand. Heat it up and pour of over fish fillet which you lay in a specially constructed frame for succulent and flavoursome results.

We only took two desserts between four in an attempt to slash the bill but they brought an unordered set of 16 post-dessert items, one of which was medlar kernel ice cream. What I was wondering was: if we’d not ordered any desserts would we still have got the complimentary 16-piece post dessert fan? If yes, then savings would have been magnificent and one could imagine coming in at less than €150 a head.

I forgot to mention the bread waiter with accompanying bread trolley displaying 10 or more choices. He recommended filling up on bread because the portions were so small. I think this was more Germanic humour. He was bread but not butter – which was brought later in another procedure and the butter had been styled and combined with seeds and nuts in ways never known before.

I’m sure, at dinner, Harry mentioned that he’d seen Sisi’s weighing scales in a palace somewhere. Sisi, Sisi, Sisi – she was building up in mind, even over such a rewarding dinner requiring careful study and attention throughout.