Wednesday 4th February 2015

Anthony Mottram, ‘consultant’ of Prague, has a tremendous new cause. The beginnings are small but it will grow and grow, you can be sure. Not in his adopted country does he campaign, but in his native homeland, in one of our loved cathedral cities as a fact. The Public may be a tiny bit stunned initially. Anthony Mottram, as always, goes against the grain. But how else did he become what he afterwards became, which is world-class with ‘consultancy’ tentacles reaching even into the heart of our British nation, from Prague? Oh yes, he’s been ‘consulted’ about our Mother of Parliaments and they have to do as he says. So Salisbury Cathedral must look to a different future. Anthony Mottram wants the spire off, he wants Salisbury Cathedral spire down. It’s vulgar, you see. It should never have been put there. The rationale is superb. Let’s embrace this wonderful new vision for a Spire-less Salisbury Cathedral and, who knows, substantial improvements for all our other cathedrals too.

Lichfield Cathedral Val doesn’t like at all – from the outside, that is.

Speaking of Val, he is also fighting. It’s Judith Chalmers. Such a worry.  Why is she so pale? Is she in fact dead? Always she was a marvellous shade of American Tan, to match her stockings. American Tan, Val says, is the only  skin tone for a woman of a certain age. So who is this vampire-ised Judith Chalmers on afternoon TV? Can’t be the same person.