Friday 25th July 2014
Now I just carry out engagements in outfits. Inner life is reduced to a minimum. On Thursday 17th July, I attended, on a non-paying basis, a paying dinner at Fortnum and Mason to launch a Mark Hix venture (I think he’s popping up there for August). Genevieve Suzy and I were on Dainty Lady TV business. I wore my Zara cream suit, which has completely changed shape with wearing. We sat with Constance Bunty from the Graph (great friend of Nigel Slater but she’s lost him to TV), her husband, Damien ‘the Demon’ Bunty of the Mail, and, to start with, a dolly with fluffy meringue for hair, accompanied by a lothario who attempted to speak Spanish with the waiters. But Constance Bunty got the PR to move them to another table where they sat side by side looking as if about to set off for a ride. You know how I’ve been in agony all summer about cooking a chicken. Well, Constance Bunty told me yet another method. Tie your bird up tightly so its cavity is closed, rub with oil and seasoning, then roast in oven at maximum temperature for 55 mins. Only drawback: oven gets in terrible mess. But do try it. We thought nothing of the Mark Hix food for Fortnums, despite the emphasis on vodka made from special breed cow’s milk. The broad beans were mealy, although skinned. Speeches were given by Mark Hix and a side-kick in the vodka line. ‘Accustomed as I am to public speaking,’ Constance said with flame-thrower irony. Constance and Damien are moving to a Sixties flat in Wanita (that’s Wandsworth). Damien had no expression to begin with but, on parting, was suddenly enthusiastic, hugged me, said he knew some poofs and would take me to Windsor Evening Races.
The next day, Friday 18th July, I dined privately with Merle Barr at her home. Her young cat was flaked out with the heat but not dead. We had quite a lot of psychological talk then fell unconscious from drink.
On Saturday 19th July, I drove to the Gay Mother’s. Her borders are a triumph with Sclary sage (self-seeded), an extremely rare evening primrose, Helenium Sarin’s Early Flower and a mad gladiolus. I see, now that she is 90, when congratulated, her air is more ‘I should hope so too’. She has been awarded a cup by the village for her contribution particularly to the new flower borders outside the Parish Hall. At dinner she recited the names of all the doctors in her surgery, as well as quite a number of other doctors we’ve known over the years. The next day, we drove to the family church of the other branch of the family (the church now only in use twice a year) for the summer service. Aunt Lavinia was present, being a member of that branch. It is a romantic spot, quite isolated, just a church and a few buildings in the middle of nowhere. The family house, which stood next the church, was pulled down in the 20s, unfort. Afterwards we picnicked from out the side of the car and Aunt Lavinia gave a piece of the Gay Mother’s best ham to her dog, Bertram. Then we drove back in my official car with Xenon driving lights and on Monday morning I returned in that vehicle to the Capital.
All the while, beneath the smooth run of engagements, I was in crisis over my Tuscan villa, taken with Prince Dmitri, after Val, supposedly coming out, re-sauced and became abusive and Connor Cadeaux and Cesar Kaiser failed to confirm. Also, I have decided to apply bleach with Q-tip to my best white jacket which came back from Jeeves of Belgravia stained in a conspicuous place.
The Gay Mother’s Triumphant Border in Her 91st Year
The Gay Mother has Been Awarded a Cup by the Village
The Other Branch of the Family: Their Church
My Garden: That Touch of Red was a Worry Last Year but This Year I Like It
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