Sunday 13th July 2014

Monday 30th June I closed the Summer Season at the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden. Prince Dmitri had been at Lady Riblat’s. She gave a drinks party for his Committee but departure was under-scored for 7pm. ‘John will be home soon and I think we’ll dine outside,’ she said to the Filipino. He’s also got a new client with $2 billion of her own money but an interest in a Trust worth $25 billion. Ariadne was nice. We had the Rich Ladies’ small table and pre-ordered dishes in the interval. I wore an outfit.

Tuesday 1st July was the Royal Dinner already described. Wednesday 2nd was the launch of the Savile Row magazine in a brown marble tomb in Mayfair. Genevieve Suzy and I met a man who does bespoke jeans and showed us his crotch to illustrate the leather reinforced fly. A spider was the star attraction – a poet called John Cooper Clarke. He made a speech saying he could rarely afford Savile Row but it was great.

Thursday 3rd was Rufus Pitman’s launch already described. On Friday 4th I was conveyed to Mallory Cottage, Biddleston, Suffolk for B and B  before Ed Jasper’s party for Roland Mainflower’s 50th birthday the next day. Lord Arrowby was distressed I missed his party held that same evening. Guests were in bathers apparently. I dined alone at vast expense at the Crown, Biddleston, listening to drinkers at neighbouring tables covering the following topics: roadworks on the road to London, No Claims Bonuses and finally House Prices. It was supposed to be a gourmet dinner. On Saturday I scraped my Official car on a bollard and went antiques shopping with no success, except I bought 10 white wine glasses for £70. Then Genevieve Suzy and Lord Suzy arrived from London, not speaking owing to road map rage. When Genevieve found out the party was to be lightly catered she went straight to bed. Ed was going to send a taxi for us, but, after a massive hunt for a phone signal, we asked for it to come later. Ed got to hear about this and went mental. We could have walked to his place or self-car-ed. Eventually Genevieve was prepared to board, except she biffed her bee-hive on a beam in beamy weamy nooky Mallory Cottage. Fuming she gained the party in a turquoise kaftan. Unbelievable: Patrick Lockyer was there – with that young barrister who was in the Groucho Club with the Lord Justice of Appeal having passed the evening with him and later almost gone clubbing. That was back in April. Later Aunt Lavinia’s youngest son showed at the function. So many coincidences. What a web! Genevieve bucked up when the Deputy Editor of the Mail on Sunday loomed after putting the edition to bed. Also various star columnists. We took hearty sandwiches, cold sausages and tea-cakes, with lashing of fizz. Some of the Gays as well as Straights started confiding about their emotions. Aunt Lavinia’s youngest son was going to gain £12,000 if Costa Rica won the World Cup. Ed begged me not to graph him but I did and caught an extreme El Greco crossed with Münch of a hostess in the last throws. There was no question of Genevieve leaving the party. She was in a gazebo in the extensive grounds with the Deputy Editor of the Mail on Sunday – and others, including Patrick Lockyer, who represents celebrities, but not Rolf Harris. Finally the young barrister wanted to leave. He and Patrick were staying in the same village as me, Adrian Edge. He insisted on not waiting for the taxi but walking across the fields in the pitch dark. I felt I might meet my end. This barrister is alluring but somehow lethal. At six in the morning, Genevieve and Patrick appeared in my room at Mallory Cottage, it being the only access at nighttime. Patrick sat down on the bed then keeled and might never have got up. They’d been ejected from Ed’s desmesne. By 10, Genevieve was completely fresh and at breakfast with quite a deal to say. I returned at once to London for the Mens’ Final and missed the chance to hang out in Lavenham with Patrick and the barrister.

At 3pm Genevieve and Patrick made friends on Facebook.

By the way, Genevieve accused me of not having been at the Sales. But I have!

John Cowper Clarke at Launch of Savile Row Magazine in Mayfair

John Cooper Clarke, Poet, at Launch of Savile Row Magazine, Mayfair

He Makes Bespoke Jeans with Re-inforced Leather Fly. He Showed Us His Own

Dinner at the Crown, Biddleston, Suffolk

Magic: Ed Jasper and Roland Mainflower’s Demesne for Roland’s 50th Birthday Party

Braziers Brought in for Roland Mainflower’s 50th Birthday in Suffolk: But the Weather Held Out and It was Warm