Wednesday 27th November 2013

Joshua Baring has experienced his brother Bovver’s Stag Weekend in Amsterdam. A full report is expected soon.

Last week the sample sale at Alice Temperley was attended by Aunt Lavinia and myself at the invitation of Cousin Barley. We picked out a purple cardy for the Gay Mother with tight cobweb sleeves for her to wear for her 90th Birthday. For Aunt Lavinia it was a fantastic evening coat, sculpted, complex, unique cut, in azure. The cardy was £50 and the coat £80.

A superb, glowing, honey-skined man appeared in a German hunting outfit, nippy, whippy and trim, huge at Temperley and known to Joshua Baring. Joshua dined with him at the highest level only the other day. Which I mentioned. ‘You have to be so careful,’ he said.

Over lunch at Zedel, Aunt Lavinia mentioned that she’d found a short mink coat at the back of a cupboard. Must have been there for years. She’d no idea.

I’ve been in the country since Sunday, outlining to the Gay Mother plans for her 90th Birthday. ‘I hope I live,’ she said. ‘It would be a drawback if you didn’t,’ I said. She’s only got to carry on until February. We listened to the news. They said last winter there were 31000 excess deaths owing to the cold. ‘Good way of weeding them out,’ the Gay Mother said. At 89, you’re probably entitled to speak like this. She has tried on the cardy and might just wear it. It suits. In the process a button fell off (unique faceted jet) and could not be found. Later it suddenly appeared for no reason. Creepy.

Tuesday of last week Val came up for ‘Philomena’ which we loved. Not at all sentimental as feared. Killing time in Waterstone’s we bumped into a massive publishing figure. Val said, ‘Who could think Tom Sharpe funny?’ We agreed that what we find funny nobody else does: the ‘hard-wearing flowers’ always placed under the portrait of Marcia Blane in ‘The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie’. Also the musquash coats of the Edinburgh ladies that would ‘see them all their days’.

But most people like knockabout and banana skin.

Wednesday Ed Jasper and Roland Mainflower gave a dinner. I self-invited for their garden opening in June. Am also having a wale of a time picking over luxury B and Bs near their house in Suffolk where I will stay for Roland’s 50th in July. One gets so picky over radiators and cushion covers after looking at 50 or 60 photos of luxury B and B rooms called ‘Quadrille’ or ‘Under the Beams’. One of the guests at the dinner seemed somewhat brittle. Later I googled and found he was the one who organised the ‘Marchioness’ party. That was the boat that was mown down in the Thames in the 80s. He’s never got over it, poor thing.

I should also mention that Lord Arrowby is getting incredibly intimate with the Royal family. He had Wales last Thursday and her Actual Majesty on Monday in Private Audience. She is a useful contact for him and a good person to be in with. I thought maybe she would rock on with him to his next engagement at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. Unfort a snoop graph of Majesty at home for the Poor Little Rich Gays was not possible.

By the way, do take ‘Last Tango in Halifax’ if you have time for telly. Quite outstanding, especially for BBC1