Saturday 10th October 2009

Only just back from the frock shops at 6.45 and must dash straight out again. Mottram outrage will have to wait for tomorrow.

Forty minute battle at H Nicks to get money back on belt that broke. They said, ‘You’ve worn it!’ ‘Well, yes, it’s a belt. What else am I do with it?’ ‘You’ve had it for nine months. It’s normal wear and tear.’ ‘Do all the buckles of your belts explode after nine months?’ I said. ‘Is this a shoddy goods store?’ At last, at last, ungracious, unacknowledged retreat.

Now I’ve got £35 in gift vouchers and a £1 coin.

Feel a little grubby though. But shall rise above it.

I said to them, ‘You’ve done the right thing. Now I get carried away in your shop because I’m £35 up and spend millions.’

I nearly did too. Some waxed jeans by Diesel. I love these shiny jeans that are ‘in’ at the moment. Totally unsuitable for my age. £190. I’ve already got some black ones by Lindberg which I’ve become chronically attached too. But I dread washing them. What if all the shine goes out? So I’ve a plan to stock pile similar pairs for back-up. I’ve even thought of buying another  of the Lindberg.

In the end found some brown waxed jeans at Zara but not in my size. So will be going round all branches in quest.  Days and days. And no knowing if they’ll look hot on. Didn’t actually try on the Diesel, come to think of it. Will have to do that in order to find fault and cease wanting. So that’s another trip to H Nicks.

At last, at last , also, the right  plain white T shirts. Zara – that shop always has what you want. It’s uncanny. Super slim fit, low V neck. Can’t bear any bag in the T shirt. Must be fitted, fitted, fitted.

But this was only at the last minute – after I’d been round all the concessions at Selfridges. ‘Where are your scoop neck plain white T shirts?’ I said. Blank looks. ‘Everybody’s wearing them; you must have…’ ‘What about this?’ one of the so-called assistants said, pointing to a packet with ‘crew neck’ emblazoned.

These people don’t know their necks.