Saturday 4th May 2013

I applied some paint then tried to dust it. A mistake.

Tonight I plunge deep into the demi monde: Ronnie Ronnie, the cabaret singer and artist, gains 60 years. His Jubilee. Robert Nevil, Sebastian Archer and Eddie Sedgwick are to attend, in wigs, arc-ing straight back to the Blitz Club years, those pioneering days, the Wild West of the Poor Little Rich Gays, with Marilyn and Steve Strange.

Robert Nevil addressed the Colchester branch of the Pony Club the Saturday before last. Sensational revelations: in the 30s associates of W.H.Auden infiltrated the Club and were successful in introducing subliminal socialistic tendencies. Nobody has noticed before Robert Nevil who pored over tackle and bits and reins for years. What he found has shattered the Pony Club for ever. Yes, left-wing imagery secreted in the harness, the hammer and sickle even, saddles interlined with ghostly depictions of wretched poverty (streets now lovely after gentrification).

The reception was frankly hostile. Several members writhed in disbelief. Robert Nevil soldiered on. There was barracking. When he explained that Stephen Spender actually stole a pony and gave it to the East End, there were howls of agony: ‘Stabling!’ they cried. ‘How can the Poor look after a Pony?’

Up Robert Nevil flashed on his whiteboard an image of the very Pony, quite white, with ears pricked for revolution and wearing a rational Pony coat showing scenes from the Sidney Street Siege as well as the Cleveland Street male brothel, designed by Humphrey Spender, brother of Stephen Spender.

Absolute mayhem in the hall. ‘Politics,’ Club members brayed, ‘we’re above Politics. The Pony life is pure. Our simplicity is gone for ever.’ Some attempted to hack the whiteboard but Robert Nevil forged on, scholarly and detached, concerned only with the truth.

Members of the Colchester Pony Club: Very Upset

Trauma: The Pony Club Shattered for Ever