Wednesday 23rd September 2009

I’m afraid the Nicole Farhi Show will have to wait another day. I know you’re all aching to hear. This morning I’ve been having a row with a neighbour about a wall. Now Anthony Mottram announces that he is being conveyed by train (1st Class) from Prague to Zurich to meet some Russians for ‘consultancy’ purposes. I said, ‘Don’t join a queue unless you’re sure what it’s for.’ Voluntary euthanisia, you know. You can’t be too careful. Mrs Solomon Bung was in Switz last winter and only just escaped.  

In the meantime, we haven’t had any graphs for an age. It’s been words,words,words. So here are some snoops from the great array of functions I’ve attended to mark the opening of the Autumn Season (well, three).

Two weeks ago, the photographer Multi and I attended a launch lunch at a very top gallery in East London (terrible industrial road, entrance just a hole in the wall, inside acres of luxury polished cement, soaring white walls, just like MOMA, New York). Trenton was there. You remember? Superb top gay seen at the Multis in July, 4 trainers, works out 4 times a week, art collection, taxi to work, gorgeous American partner. Now we find he has additional feature of holiday apartment  in France’s South. Ladies at this occasion are wearing such things as: exquisite white blouse extended to the knee and held in a bell shape by hoops, black dress and coat with red tips – i.e. red pumps, giant red bag, red nails. This was Lady Newell, who we were with in Tuscany. Grayson was there – as his lady persona with frumpy blancmange green knitted coatee and hideous multi-coloured wedges. At lunch Trenton seemed a little weary, was rather silent. I liked him more. In this gallery they’ve got works by a Japanese woman artist. Can’t remember the name but marvellous. Opalescent frog-spawn, exquisitely done. A painting. I could rather see the point. If I had £200,000 I really would snap up.

The following week the Multis and I went to Christie’s for lecture/drinks party on the human figure in art, revival of interest in. American lady greatnesses had flown over specially and my theory that the rich  are in fact a different colour from everybody else was proved beyond a shadow of a.  At least 20 per cent of the faces present were that imitable honey-bronze hue which is the result of products but which no product can achieve, if you see what I mean. 

Great ladies are attracted by the contemporary art world because there they can push at the limits of frockage. Here are some pictures:

Great Ladies at an Art World Function. Note the excellent shawl

Coat worn by Greatness. Spotted bag just visible in corner

Couture Coat by Joseph O

After the Christie’s function, the Multis and I went to the Wolseley (them paying), where we saw Joan Collins looking rather frightening, I’m sorry to say.

Here are the chips:

Chips at the Wolseley

Now, I also went to an opening at Ligne Roset where my old friend and school friend of Robert Nevil’s, the artist Edward Sedgewick, had designed some furniture fabric. It was wall-to-wall PR girls. But that’s going to have to wait for tomorrow too now, because I’ve got to rush….