Monday 13th August 2012

V. jaded day. We were up until 3 Italian time to view the Closing Ceremony. The Multis were furious.

The Photo Multi said: ‘Why not just place a crappy old ghetto blaster in the middle of the stadium? Someone could make a grand entrance, switch it on and walk off again.’

My God! There shouldn’t have been a dry eye in the house by the end. And wouldn’t have been with mass singing of ‘The Day Thou Gavest, Lord, is Over’, followed by Jerusalem and Land of Hope and Glory for the finish as the Flame was extinguished.

I wanted it wistful, melancholy, rumbling, rousing and climatic – not random and interminable.

Where was the Eton Boating Song ? Or ‘Every Time We Say Goodbye’?

The Blond Multi only took 3 hours sleep, went for a three mile run, then frayed on the phone to Parcelforce about a croquet set that was ordered on-line to be delivered here, to this Tuscan villa, but is stuck in Milan. Nobody can do anything. He can’t get through to Milan. He didn’t quite hurl his iPhone to the ground.

We’ve been devising a reverse Closing Ceremony, which might have opened with Dame Evadne Hinge singing ‘Don’t cry for me, Argentina’ and ended with Jarvis Cocker’s cover version of ‘I was Born in the USA.’

Well, why not…?