Sunday 5th August 2012

I’ve gained Tuscany in fact but wracked to have abandoned our Great Nation at this time.

Glyndebourne, Tuscany, the styling of a salad, the Gay Mother’s wow-factor Granny-embroidered evening recticule for Glyndebourne – all have been swept aside by the great Olympic tide.

Who would have thought it? All week I’ve been wondering: ‘Where do Poor Little Rich Gays belong?’ At Glyndebourne last Saturday, Royston King, that great committee figure who controls Lottery funding for heritage projects, was met unexpectedly. ‘Hello, you great Queen,’ he bellowed across the lawn.  He’s also black, as it happens, which is unusual at that level (not racist, but true). The sides of beef who run England (up to a point) reeled, while wincing at my cream and white ensemble – no black tie for me, never, never. I will not conform.

Then, in the Olympic Park, I experienced revolutionary urges sitting in the high attic of the Aquatic Centre with the patriotic roaring crowd kept so far from the pool.  Equally I craved exclusivity. It was awfully democratic in the Olympic Park in general, no sense at all of the hierarchy of our Nation.

Now I see it truly. Danny Boyle’s ex-wife lives next door to Robert Nevil and Sebastian Archer, two leading Poor Little Rich Gays. There must be some connection. That Opening Ceremony – it was shaped by the Poor Little Rich Gay spirit.

This is what has happened. At last I see it. I see it whole. Yes, the whole Nation has gone Poor Little Rich Gay. Or, perhaps, always was.

Our greatness as a Nation is our brilliant swirling on a knife-edge. That Opening Ceremony – sentimental, flecked with death, entirely new as an Opening Ceremony, wildly ambitious, massively ceremonial,  real and human. Team GB’s entrance was to David Bowie: ‘We can be heroes/ Just for one day ‘. And so it has continued: our athletes, ordinary yet great, our crowds entirely serious with their rich, steady deep patriotic roar (no senseless screaming)  yet their Union Jack outfits knowingly ridic.

What a great Nation we are! All others one-dimensional in comparison.

What Exactly is Meant? Union Jack Jumpsuits Seen in the Olympic Park on Wednesday