Saturday 7th July 2012

In pre-Sale purchasing, my purchasing power embraced a powder-blue/steel-grey (depending on point of view) polyester summer suitlette from Topman with slight slub. You’ve already heard of the tuna droplet that dropped onto its trousers in the horrid pub seconds before the Bath wedding – from the Tuna and Spring onion wich.

But the jacket. I’ve not told you about the jacket, which was taken right to the brink. You won’t believe it. The very first time I wore it which was some weeks before the Bath wedding…. I was in a pale willed summer ensemble for freezing no summer. My cream Marc Jacobs jeans (did you know he’s been dropped from H Nics?) and the Topman jacket of the suit. I was so creamy and pale that, underway for the dinner at Frankie-Doreen May and Giles Ullerston’s, I could have been usefully wrapped in a protection of plastic. But it wasn’t dirt that got me. There was a projecting piece. Just the lightest glance. Throughout the dinner I stroked the place. It was just a little rough. I thought maybe with a razor I could smooth it out. ‘It’s grazed,’ a fellow dinner guest said. ‘If it’s Topman, you can get another,’ said another.  Well, up to a point. Or rather – not likely.  The modes move so swiftly there.

By lunchtime the next day I was breathless in Topman. No sign of the blue/grey suit. Desperation. I show the poor grazed piece to a member of staff who undertakes to look in the back. I wait, facing the end. She comes back. She’s carrying something but still I have no belief.

‘Here you are,’ she says, ‘another jacket in size 42’.

The right jacket! The right size!

Ecstasy! I buy another Topman suitlette in cream on the wave.

That Grazed Topman Jackette in Full

That Graze on Topman Jackette: Close Up. You Do See, Don't You? I Couldn't Possibly Have Lived with It

Topman Cream Suit Bought on Wave of Ecstasy: Has a Slightly Funny Smell, Not Unpleasant