Sunday 29th April 2012

Rufus Pitman launched in Sloane Street – his new novel about Bangladesh in the 70s.  Fraught but hilarious – life in Bangladesh in the 70s, I mean. Marvellous book. V. Poor Little Rich Gay. On a knife-edge: wild ludicrosity, thundering horror.

Quite a few volatile Poor Little Rich Gays were contained in a jewellery shop in Sloane Street for the launch, as well as my own publisher, whom I ordered to re-issue all my works. My private architect, Bruce MacBain, who can near-hurl fellow guests into the Thames, tried to prise open the jewellery cupboards. The glamorous Polly Delfine, of the film world, arrived with Beth Murdo, the terrifying columnist; Polly said she often changed buses outside the shop and saw parties going on within. She said she could never endure to address a crowd of more than five. ‘Have you been on holiday?’ she inquired. ‘What do you mean?” ‘You’re so brown.’ I leapt almost through the jewellery cupboards: ‘My bronzer,’ I shrieked, ‘it’s Australian. I slap it on.’

I’ve never had a bronzer before that works! Space NK, of course. About £30. You must have it. See graph below. To tell the truth, Polly Delfine is not the first to have commented on my remarkable hue. I’ve been storing up in my heart more than several recent miraculous revelations, awaited all my life, that at last I am brown.

As a topic, bronzers were a dead loss with Polly Delfine’s husband, who is a poker-player and novelist in what I believe is called a pork-pie hat.

Briefly we exchanged with Rufus Pitman himself. Poor Little Rich Gays must achieve, as we know. How they achieve! Rufus Pitman is at the high end – at least a book a year, plus numerous appearances, newspaper columns and other attendances. There is a price to pay, though. No housework. But he does manage to fit in boutique perfumes, unusual trousers, interesting eye-wear and restaurants.

I saw Lord Arrowby in an outstanding blue suit. He’s my part-time love interest, not seen now for some months. Recently he asked me to a football match in connection with his charity work. Sadly I was stranded on my sofa, too weak to move.

My New Bronzer by Model Co: IT WORKS! Buy, buy, buy from Space NK. www.modelco.com.au