Wednesday 8th February 2012

It was so easy in the end. At the door I simply said, ‘I’m the Photo Multi,’ and swep in.

Tip: how to avoid forking £10,000 for PV access at the Tate. ‘Hostesses’ on door all have the same guest list and strike off names but they don’t cross check. So the same person can arrive several times, if you get my drift. However, within, someone from Trenton’s gallery, who champion Kusama and have their own show of her newest work (PV tomorrow), told me something rather awful. I can hardly bear to think of it.

Do you know Kusama? Well, you’ll have to go to Tate Modern to see. She’s 82, has been self-institutionalised since 1977, has hallucinations, had a New York phase in the 50s and 60s, including ‘obliteration parties’, sad0-machocistic filmed events, and the creation of frockage pre-dating Madonna’s cone-bra by 20 years.  She also does multiple phalluses in silver standing on a tray, as if ready for the oven. I first heard of her two or three years ago at Trenton’s Gallery: there was a colourless rectangle, possibly flat, possibly not, of something like frogspawn but opalescent, not just a pattern or merely a thing of great beauty and exquisite execution but undefinable and never seen before. That’s when I saw the point. If you had it, it would make perfect sense to spend £250,000 on this extraordinary item.

The show at the Tate is overwhelming and difficult. I couldn’t justly report. Kusama herself has never been seen in this country. She has not left Japan for 12 years. But I was privately informed by the gallerists that she had gained Heathrow on Sunday with an entourage including someone who films her at all times.  Then word went round – by the lifts, there was a flurry. The full range of cameras, microphones on long sticks; a bizarre figure in wheelchair with bright red wig. It was her.

I had to dash though: Angus Willis (I’ve still his brilliant Hastings shop to bring out) summoned me last minute. He’s been graphing M & S party food for their catalogue: it’s pre-release material, not yet on general sale, so more rarity, more special access. He gave me a Luxury Salmon and Asparagus Terrine to take home.

By the way, Robert Nevil says that the Lucian Freud Private View at the National Portrait Gallery has been cancelled: too much riff-raff trying to get it.

I know it’s silly, this mania for Private Views.  But, there’s no getting away from it, do admit, it’s a driving force through all humanity and a day brightener to contrive entrance and then achieve it! Just that little something extra can’t do any harm! And, I quite forgot, the awful thing I heard…at the Tate PV, I was told that you only have to pay about £150 for membership and you can go to all the PVs, at both Britain and Modern.

I just can’t believe it . And won’t.

Kusama Gains: But Are We Sure It's Not the Widow Ono?

Kusama: Work from 2009

Issey Miyake Worn at Kusama PV, Tate Modern

M & S Luxury Terrine: You Won't Find it on the Shelves Though; Not Yet

Luxury M & S Terrine: Pre-Release Material, Not Available to the General Public, As Yet

M & S Luxury Terrine: Interior: Interesting Green Inner Surprise: I 'Ate Off' The Top Decoration, So It is Stripped Down to the Basic Block