Tuesday 20th December 2011

It can be done. There is a route.

You may not know the Royal Vauxhall; it’s not exactly rough. The ‘Royal’ is rather hopeful. It is a pub where Gays perform.

Packed programme! Packed programme! Including back to back and three on a night. That’s my pre-Christmas evenings. In the daytime, I’m in on all the deaths. Tasteless, I know, but Poor Little Rich Gays love to throb at the core. It gives shape and meaning.

Christopher Hitchens’ mother was a great friend of Aunt Carstairs but the Gay Mother and I never forgave him for snide remarks about the Headmaster of my prep school, where he went too. He’d gone off, if you ask me. Thrilling when young; later limited. Then Anthony Mottram, of Prague, with whom I’ve not been on speakers for two years: he’s been heard of, in a manner of speaking. He hovered at Vaclav Havel’s bedside and is planning an open casket funeral. It looks likely that we will be reunited at another graveside though.

Only the Korean man I’ve got no entree to – except that certain Poor Little Rich Gays, when they go too far, rather resemble. Apparently the shoe-in lookalike grandson has already had botox.

Talking of strings, not even Joshua Baring, that coming young man with fingers in every pie, can get tickets for Richard 11 at the Donmar. I’d no desire to see it whatsoever until I heard it was sold out. Eddie Redmayne (he plays the main part, which I suppose must be Richard 11) was at Eton with Joshua. Joshua put through a private call, but not even the star has box-office access.

The place must be democratically run.

Unlike Louis Vuitton: the Multis were top of the list, as Grayson owners (x 2, it emerges), for the launch of Grayson Perry’s travelling trunk for Louis Vuitton at the store in New Bond Street. You can’t have it by the way. There’s only one and LV have given it to Grayson. The Photo Multi suggested I ram with him and the Blond Multi as back-up. But I had a sudden flash. Paris, you know! The very top of Louis Vuitton. An instruction was sent, no mere request. I was to be more than admitted, I was to undergo complete embracement.

Clasped to the very heart of Louis Vuitton.

The indescribable pared-down elegance and honed beauty!

I purred forth from there directly to the Royal Vauxhall Tavern, favourite haunt of my part-time love-interest, Lord Arrowby of the Government, so little seen recently owing to all these engagements. Ronnie Ronnie was to sing – oh no! I’ve overrun.

Come back tomorrow for Ronnie Ronnie. Come back! Come back!

Trunk by Grayson Perry for Louis Vuitton, Shown at New Bond Street Store

Private View of Private View: the Blond Multi and me, Adrian Edge, Given Exclusive Tour of Back of Grayson Perry Trunk by the Artist Himself

Grayson Perry, Darling!

Louis Vuitton Grayson Perry Trunk Launch, London: Staff

Two Furred Greatness at Grayson Perry Trunk Launch: Louis Vuitton, London

Ronnie Ronnie at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern