Wednesday 30th November 2011

You would have thought the Ancients were so taken up with fundamentals, they’d no time for anything else. When you think of the struggle to get a fire going or assemble any frockage – weave your own cloth. Need a comb – well, make your own.

But, no; Poor Little Rich Gay tendencies set in early. Look at those combs below. There they were, carving away, putting in unnecessary details. I bet someone was cross about those irrelevant bird-shaped handles. Why bother with a comb at all, in fact, if you’re sweeping night and day to keep all that desert sand under control?

There might have been a lack of extensive celebrity coverage in Ancient Egypt, but the style of life had its advantages. Quite frankly, take a few evening classes in pottery, carving, mummification, tomb painting , bash out the odd piece and 5000 years later it’ll be revered in a museum as a wondrously vibrant example of ethnic craft.

So, Poor Little Rich Gays, why not start with a wanking statue as below, before launching on the painting of a full sarcophagus, perhaps for self-use in the long run.

Render your own artefacts for future archaeology.

They Didn't Have to Have the Birds: Poor Little Rich Gay Tendencies in Ancient Egypt

Wanking Very In in Ancient Egypt: They Thought Semen the Source of Life Even When Applied Directly to the Earth

Ancient Egyptian Queen Mother

One Eye Blanked Out: Could be New for Spring: Gives a Suggestive Look

Nice!