Monday 19^th September 2011

Actually I’ve been watching TV. As well as visiting the Palace. On Friday I failed to gain Margate. So did Prince Dmitri Hersov. He was detained at his blue-chip accountancy outfit. I was choked by the M25. Beatrice Cantor, much bought and loved by the Multis, was showing at the new Turner Gallery there. It was an art opening, rather than of the building, which occurred in April.

In our absence, inexplicably.

I was used at the opening of the one in Eastbourne, as was Grayson Perry and Virgil Grayson. Bruce MacBain, my private architect, took me and I re-figured the dead, sour streets of that town in a tiny suitlette by Miu Miu. We ran into Lord Hoffman in a cafe.

On Saturday the Multis were in a marquee in Wiltshire for a catered 150-piece sit-down . Whether also slap-up, I couldn’t say. It was Beria Myrtle’s 50^th Birthday. She is fab. So finished and blissful husband, jolly but with substance. Both rich, thank God.  I took a table quiz with them in Wanny last winter.

For me, the formal season has not quite begun. Maybe it never will. I’ve been dining privately, last minute, and watching TV.

Last Thursday Bruce MacBain and I were under pressure to gain East Finchley for the live relay of One Man, Two Masters (I quite liked it. Rather tiring though). But Bruce had gone up in folding that day and was worried about glars shimmying up and in. No window locks apparently. ‘Well, get some,’ I said, down the phone. It was already 4.30. Then my Official Car, with Xenon driving lights, always on, just so happened to be near a famous lock-shop. I got two such for Bruce’s windows. Not cheap. ‘But I haven’t got a screw-driver,’ he said.

Oh hopeless! For a private architect.

So we applied to the scaffolding petroleum jelly, which I had in stock for greasing metal curtain poles to enable ease of drawing.

There are many useful household tips embedded in this tale – have you the wit to extract them.

Meanwhile, the Multis’ new car arrived, went thirty miles and conked. A message came up on a screen, announcing engine failure to some extent. I wonder if the Photo Multi, whose driving style is Mr Toad with extra gas and air (there’s a phrase from the straight world), so thrust the machine that it somehow snapped.

As a courtesy car, BMW Romford have provided a 7-Series. We rode in it last night before dinner and Downton Abbey. It’s absolutely car and driver. In the boot is discarded a laminated sign which says: ‘BMW Approved Used Car £47,850’.

Bruce MacBain, by the way, has achieved the right pleating for his door curtain – at last!

Bruce MacBain: Pole and Ring-Holes in Curtain Replaced Thus

Bruce MacBain Curtain: Corner Detail: Pole and Ring-Holes in Fabric Gone

In Boot of Multis' 7-Series Courtesy Car

The 7 Series Courtesy Car Leaving