Sunday 4th September 2011
Yes, in Poor Little Rich Gay speak, it’s Californication.
Childish! I don’t care.
I’ve never been there, have you? I’m hoping that one day I’ll visit with Harry Rollo, who is semi-resident.
It was Harry Rollo, the impresario and perf artist (he’s flooding the Hollywood Bowl), who yachted.
Otherwise Poor Little Rich Gays are mostly back in, re-hutched. Lord Arrowby, Robert Nevil, Joshua Baring, Prince Dmitri Hersov, Laura Malcolm, Frankie-Doreen May, Giles Ullerston, Sonny Hammond, Connor Cadoux, Peter Ainger, Elsa Hodgeman, Adelaide Hodgeman, Lady Newell, Marcus Cargill, Hamish McCory, Matt Driver, Carol Earle have all regained. Only the Multis are detained in Tuscany at the villa for another week. Just look at the cleaner’s bill! See graph below. 115.32 euros for a shopping list. It doesn’t say what the shopping cost.
There’s some drama re: the tip for the cleaner. Rich Bruce MacBain left 50 euros after 4 nights at the villa. I think that’s the absolute max for any length of stay. It’s not the cleaner who needs tipping, it’s the Multis.
I shall arrange a big charity gala for them in October to raise further funds. You may remember that such an event was staged at the Royal Opera House Covent Garden for Margot Fonteyn after her gun-running husband had bled her dry.
Apparently in Panama her roof was tin.
The Multis are alone at the villa (which accommodates a max of 18) but still dressing for dinner in baby-blue or shell pink linen suits; another development is that breakfast is no longer served in the Stonehenge by the kitchen (table so vast you had to get up every time you wanted anything) but is laid intimately for two by the pool. But Captain Blond Multi breakfasts actually in the pool just as he reads waterborne.
I’m sure they are incredibly intimate.
The Photo Multi has switched those po-cupboards round in my old room at the villa so both door-knobs abut (right word?) the bed. Selfless, since the room will next be occupied by other renters.
Oh, look! I’ve no space left for Harry Rollo’s yachting. It’ll have to wait for tomorrow.
And there’s my great meditation on kitchen love, forthcoming for so long I’ve quite forgotten what I was going to say. I intend to move into the kitchen department myself, you know. There were such revelations at the Tuscan apartemento, but I wouldn’t quite take Arjan Bose’s hard line. He’s strongly anti-kitchen, you see. I’m determined that every baroque contortion of the love lives of Poor Little Rich Gays shall be memorialised. We must know what lies beneath any touching and costly wedding ceremony.
Val, by the way, is at the Charing, apparently to acquire yet more skeletal jewellery, i.e. pinning of bones. I must call him.
Villa Running Costs: the Multis Stung: What Will European Central Bank Do?
Bedside Po-Cupboard in My Room at the Tuscan Villa: At Last the Right Way Round
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The PM would like to state that the shopping list comprised essential household goods and breakfast nourishments.
The PM would also like to point out that the bedside table lamps were also swapped in the bedroom known as Adrian Edge ‘s suite (subsequently occupied by Carol Earle).
Also, the PM would like to announce that your finnocchio arrostata con olio, vino di bianco e limone was recreated this evening with great success.
Thanks is also given to you for your cooking directions this evening on the pollo which were also success.
This was the first evening the Multis cooked a complete meal in the villa.
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Please thank the Photo Multi for allowing this information to be released. May I convey my congratulations on their self-cooking? Their aloneness at the villa reminds me of the honeymoon of Her Present Majesty and the Duke of Edinburgh at Broadlands in 1947, for some reason.
Californication is in fact the name of an album by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. My son Kelm requested it as a Christmas present from his maiden great aunt when he was 9. She had to go down Virgin and ask them to find it for her, apparently they were most obliging.
Trust Kelm to be so advanced. I wonder what progress he is making at the Prada now he is on secondment from Art School in Madrid. The Gay Mother only took 30 minutes max each day when we were there in 2009. The Prada is a big museum in Madrid full of artworks, for your information. I thought Californication was also a film but it seems in fact to be a hit TV series from 2007 as well as a ‘bum from the Red Hot Chili Peppers
A young man told my late friend Mrs Solomon Bung of Pacific Palisades about that record Californication and she said “Is that the way you always speak?”
If only I had known that nice man from OCADO could deliver Charentais along with the Honeydew, Galia, Cantaloupe, Water and Piel De Sapo.
I’m very sorry to hear that Mrs Solomon Bung has passed. Do offer my sincerest condolences. She was a woman of great range, not above a camping trip, setting off from her art-stuffed mansion on many a bear-trail, I believe. I wonder which death-mode she selected: perhaps the Forest Lawn Superior Stand-Alone Mausoleum with sateen-lined casket, cushion and swansdown-trimmed bed jacket in which to remain dainty and whole for all eternity, the one which Jessica said showed definite mould if you peeked inside after even a year.
But Mrs Bung wasn’t like that, was she?
Oh yes! You refer to melon varieties about which there was debate when we were in Tuscany. Honeydew I know and it’s horrid. Galia is very green, dark outside and lighter in. But what of Charentais and Cantaloupe? One of them is round, I seem to remember. And which was the one we had in Italy, which was oval, v pale outside with darker green stripes and the colour always called ‘melon’ inside – i.e. orange? Will have to order from Ocado just to find out. Piel De Sapo is quite new to me. Must have. But wonder – rare fruits are often rare for a reason. Not very nice.
Pile de Sapo looks v unpromising – green Honeydew, basically – and sounds nasty (I thought ‘sapo’ was soap but apparently its ‘toad’). It is, however, delicious. Waitrose seem to have adopted it in bulk. It’s from Spain, but don’t let that put you off either.
Thank you very much for these important melon notes. The precise name of the oval melon sold in Italy with grey-green striped skin and orange flesh still eludes though
Doesn’t charentais have rough greyish skin and canteloupe smooth green skin? But both I think roundish. Canteloupe is of course the title of noble family in PLRG classic ‘Alms for Oblivion’, so we like that best.