Here is Royston King, of whom we will be seeing a great deal next week, as the Chelsea Flower Show gets underway (yes, I will be there), wielding a fork with Camilla Cornwall and her ex-husband Andrew Parker-Bowles at an important opening recently.

So much to report: our visit to Frogmore and Val’s recovery from catastrophe and reassumption of sandwich making. Also forthcoming, my great meditation on how Wotan is a Poor Little Rich Gay, Ed Jasper, the bedlinen expert, and Roland Mainflower’s fridge, and how Marcus Cargill, England’s leading clock-mender, is taking octopus on Lesbos at this very moment. Ducklings have hatched on yet another Poor Little Rich Gay mega high-rise terrace. These ones are a rare breed, so there have been stunning developments. There’s live footage to come.

In the morning I see Lord Arrowby, my part-time love-interest, who is being perfectly impossible. He and Nicholas Taudevin have thrown my proposed Bath Abbey wedding outfit into doubt. Luckily there’s three more weeks in which to re-think and for Lord Arrowby to arrange a subsciption Gala to raise money for back-up frockage. Joshua Baring is getting nearer and nearer the masculine diamonds I require, every day and in every way.

The Multis, meanwhile, have gone into the countryside for the weekend.

Royston King, Camilla Cornwall and Andrew Parker-Bowles Showing Their Forks at a Recent Opening