Wednesday 12th August 2009
Lord Arrowby has broken a tooth at breakfast on the Ile de Re (yes, I know about the accents). He is to be treated locally and will not regain this country until Friday. It is not known whether this incident is connected with any intensive programme of luxury pampering he may or may not have been subjected to at his hotel.
I should explain that a proper rich gay summer holiday has the following features: hotel (4 stars min. Some think 4 stars hell; Do look at Mrs Solomon Bung’s comment below re: 4 stars: death; 5 stars:life); regime of ‘treatments’ – that’s it.
It would be encouraging if a figure of the gravitas of Lord Arrowby were to apply this principle. Once at La Residencia on Mallorca (do you know it? It is supposed to be a hotel to mention, but on Tripadvisor.com there are lots of complaints about it), a friend of Simon Limpney’s was treated to the point of total paralysis on the massage table. It was hours before he could be wynched off and days before the pain eased.
Anthony Mottram has gained the Eastern and Oriental Hotel which he says is at Pankot – but this must be his monsoon madness speaking because Pankot stands in for Simla in The Jewel in the Crown. The crucial thing is: he has been upgraded to a seaview suite.
The upgrade, at no further cost, is a vital feature of the rich gay holiday. At times it is achieved by gaydar-style work with the reception staff. But this is rather cheap. Mottram probably bantered and teased while not failing to convey the steel beneath.
The Riverside Multis once went to Venice for the weekend. It was the Biennale. At the Gritti Palace Hotel they were offered a tiny, dark room at 750 euros a night. Not good enough. After much patient work, they secured a half-price suite – at only 1400 euros a night.
RSS Feed
My new friend Mercedes de Lopez Leibowitz always says the difference between five stars and four is the difference between life and death.
Tripadvisor.com? Should we really listen to these people? This is a review of Raffles Hotel in Singapore from Trip Advisor. I particular recommend the horror of “I could not imagine anything else to wear” but Bermuda shorts.
“At first everything was fine if not great.
But believe it or not, they do not allow Bermuda shorts in the lobby area. We knew it until the 4th day of the stay when a rude (maybe drunk) porter approached us on our way to the Long Bar. We were asked to leave the lobby as soon as possible even we were just greeted with a big smile from the doorman.
At the same time, we saw a couple of guests sitting 20 feet from us with shorts chatting loudly, and the porter was fine with that.
As we were late for a party, we later took the case to the management and was told that they do have this dress code, but they will be flexible with hotel guests.
So I guess it was our fault not to identify ourselves whenever someone tried to approach me. I just could not imagine something else to wear after a long day of conference and the air was 100+ degrees.
And, if you’re here just for the over-rated Singapore sling, be prepared to dress up as you don’t have the privilege to relax.”
Thank you both for your comments. They are hugely helpful. I must apologise for mentioning Tripadvisor. How right to quote in full, Rufus! We must confront without fear the gaping black hole in the modern person where once a mind would have been. This level of literacy would surely fail to gain admission to the Hotel Future, Bogata or the Top Set Chalets, North Cyprus