Wednesday 9th March 2011

Val, our supreme Poor Little Rich Gay, who weaves through, in, against, inspite of, and with a vast vat of alcohol, a wrought and brilliant life, is  championing the Alpine look for late winter/early Spring.  He heard about it on the telly but he’s done it Norwegian, or Norwayan as we prefer to say because of Hamlet.

You know the Norwayan Alps, of course?

First of all he self-knitted a cardy. Some of the wool was re-cycled. Other pieces were unravelled. It’s hard to follow. Some sections didn’t match and had to be  dipped in coffee to knock them back colourwise. The pewter-clasps were transferred from a previous Norwayan cardy Val had clacked and clicked into existence while on secondment to the frock department of the Olso Opera House many years ago. The Norwayan gloves were already in stock, given as a leaving present from that same opera house. That left the hat. There had to be a hat. Val reclaimed the wool from a former SAS balaclava (he did, honest) and rendered it, by means of a sherling lamb trim (in stock and left over from some diva’s costume) Norwayan, but also Mongolian with a hint of Yurt.

Then,after all that, it warmed up in early February. Val sweltering in his Alpine look. But the recent cold snap a godsend. And there will be many more opportunities for it yet – and your Alpine look too when you get it.

The ways things are looking, we’ll be Alpine all the summer long in any case –  for lack of anything else. I couldn’t believe the modes on offer at Prada. Nautical. Yachting. Blue and white stripes. Unspeakable. Hard colours, hard contrast, dreadful canvas smocks.

Poor Little Rich Gays must refuse for once.

I wonder if we will.

Val's Look Inspired by the Norwayen Alps: This Cardy is Self-Made

Horrid Yachting Look at Prada for the Summer

Boat-neck Gabardine Yachting Smock-Top from Prada. Thank God Don't Have to Have £485

Drab Nautical Top-lettes from Prada: What on Earth will We Wear this Summer? Can't Wear This

Prada's Summer Suggestions: I Don't Think So

Dunhill Summer Mode - Better