Wednesday 8^th December 2010

Go to the junction of Portobello Road and Lancaster Road, find the vibrator shop, forge into the basement and buy one of Miss Lallian Lark’s exquisite Deco ladies. Only £250 to £400. Perfect present. She’ll be cut out of card, built up in succulent layers and in her own tabernacle or box with doors, which hangs on the wall. The Whow! Factor is the feather attached to each. You blow on it – the exhibition is called ‘Blow’ – and get a tiny, but earth-shattering, frisson.

It’s participatory art. Put something in and you’ll get something out.

Miss Lallian Lark of the Titlark Tours of years ago – a charabanc would leave on a mystery tour, Robert Nevil and Eddie Sedgewick invariably on board as a grim mother-and-daughter team. Mrs Murphy’s husband was buried at St Leonard’s Streatham. Herself (played by RN) was gloves, bag, hat and neat suit, blue with an gracious silver sprig in a springy material, three-quarter–length sleeves and a pleated skirt. She was supposed to be a cleaner at the Design Centre in the Haymarket, but I would say she was a cut above. Once the charabanc pitched up at Kensington Town Hall for a public-subscription, Mr Pooter-style dinner dance. Some poor old thing was very taken with this lady. Marriage prospects hove alarmingly into view. Even now, she could have been leading a genteel double-life in Kilburn, although the terrible daughter (played by ES), quite capable of feeding her children sequins with grated lippie, would have been a blot on the landscape.

Miss Lark has always come up trumps at Christmas. Once, in the 80s, her card was a walnut shell. Inside was a tiny nativity scene, all self-made.

Lady with Feather - by Miss Lallian Lark

Lady with Feather and Hat by Miss Lallian Lark

Multi Ladies by Miss Lallian Lark