Tuesday 12th October 2010

I can’t get it. Frieze Art Fair, Private View tomorrow afternoon at Regent’s Park. I e-mailed the Multis’ special e-mail, vip@frieze.com. But no room for me, Adrian Edge, not even with 2 million followers. Altogether I’ve pulled ten strings: at Deutsche Bank, who are sponsoring, at British Land who have 500 invitations, at Jimmy Choo; I’ve tried Lord Arrowby, who is going with the Minister and probably the Queen, knowing him, Joshua Baring who is in New York.

Another event also looms, Maggie Hambling again, at the Royal Academy on 28th October. My invitation has gone astray.I must hammer.

If only I could borrow £15,000, buy a Boscoe Holder and give to the Tate. Then there wouldn’t be this trouble – for a bit at least. Now I do recommend Boscoe Holder. Google to see his work. Go on, do it! Peter Doig and Chris Ofili have bought up all the work. It’s currently unavailable. All the same, wait and see.

Meanwhile I must not complain. Poor Little Rich Gays don’t complain. Last week, on the coat tails of the Multis I was lavished at Trenton’s gallery and dined at Shoreditch House in a huge gallery gala, having bought no art. The dinner was on the roof terrace, accessible only by lift. The Multis and I got in and were joined by three American heiresses who had arrived separately in black chauffed Mercedes – the big ones made of that purpose, arrival by chauffeur. The lift would not move. There was a terrible whiff of eating disorders. ‘You’re too heavy,’ one of the pashmina-ed greatnesses said to us, madly. But we were there first. The lift had been sprightly and primed for departure before they got in.  We drove them out. Above, the Multis chatted with Grayson Perry on the banquette by the pool (which didn’t have a proper edge: one false step and you’d have been in, £19,000 of frockage drenched as well as humiliation), who said £1 million for a studio was beyond him.