Thursday 23rd September 2010
I don’t think I’ve had less outfit satisfaction in years.
It was zero in fact.
Poor Little Rich Gays should rate their outfit satisfaction out of ten. No outfit should be unrated.Results must be recorded for posterity. This is a daily duty.
In my posting for 11th September (‘What can Poor Little Rich Gays Burn?’) I condemned the cream chinos and blue business shirt combination when offered as a leisure outfit. But by a terrible wrench of Fate I’ve been in it myself. Somehow I’ve been trapped into yoking my Zara cream slacks (not exactly chinos, I know) with dark shirts for no better reason than that nothing else would go – when a look a cut above beach is called for.
Perhaps this is a punishment for condemning.
Then at lunch I took three courses including banoffi pie which I can’t resist and ended up with no less than a paunch. At the Designer Warehouse Sale in the afternoon (Thane Villas: but I was disillusioned. Acres of Elton John’s old clothes on offer, including stains) I was near to being discontinued.
I can’t make these cream slacks work. Val said when I regaled him over the telephone, ‘They’re not town wear.’ Maybe that’s it. Cream slacks just can’t be worn with anything other than a short-sheeved shirt not tucked in. They can’t be formal.
Maybe also they shouldn’t be by Zara.
If outfit faith begins to go from observation of the actual outfit, it will surely plunge to oblivion if the label’s dodgy.
But my suffering is nothing to that of the Multis. Can you imagine, for the third time their attempt at a simple mini-break has been foiled by strikes! Although, now, as we speak, they have boarded but not taken off. They were supposed to mount the air this morning from City Airport for the Voile d’Or at Cap Ferrat but French air strikes forced them into a 8.45pm departure from Heathrow. That flight is now possibly taking off at midnight and gaining Nice at 2.50 in the morning.
Still they might not gain the Cap. And if they do they’ll be too shattered to face breakfast service. And they’re paying 700 euros a night so not to be in the room milking it for all it’s worth will be anguish.
Come back to tomorrow! Will the Multis Gain the Cap?
Zero-rated Outfit
The Multis' Long Wait to Board This Evening for Nice
The Multis Still Waiting to Board for Nice
The Multis' Still Still Waiting to Board for Nice
Boarding at Last but Take-Off Still Uncertain
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This is why one should always have a little private jet tucked away in a storage hanger as you never know when the serfs will up arms.
I shouldn’t be surprised if the Multis escalate to private jets in the near future. They’re great believers in private everything, even the Police. They long ago rejected No Frills airlines even if their fares were higher than the Frilled carriers. Now that British Airways and the French workers have so thoroughly let them down, what other way forward is there?
But, did you know, Private Jets are often smelly inside – old, you see, and awful mushroom leather upholstery.
And slow. Absolutely crawl along.
These facts are rarely known.