Sunday 12th September 2010

I ran into Fergus Strachan in the street near Waitrose. Not seen for months. You remember him: it was 6.30; he was on the way back from lawyering. Massive upper body, light, exquisite make-up. His partner, Angus Willis, is one of our leading food writers and stylists, also responsible for the astonishing Tudor House at Hastings (see ‘A Classic Poor Little Rich Gay Weekend Away’ 1st December 2009 and ‘The Highest Queenaria Yet Known: Angus Willis’s Epic Three-Year Renovations in Hastings’ 3rd December 2009).

I forgot to mention Val, that magnificent, tormented costume-maker and upholsterer, whose cutting on the bias is unrivalled, somehow pitched up in Hastings recently and found that it was open day at the Tudor House. He knows Fergus and Angus anyway because all Poor Little Rich Gays know each other, even when they don’t know that they do. He said to Fergus, apres tour, ‘It’ll be very nice when you got  fitted carpets and a three-piece suite.’ Which was just a little cruel. The Tudor House is very demanding: it’s been stripped completely back;  it’s got Tudor baths and Tudor electricity. A hard wooden settle is not beyond the bounds of  possibility, should it ever progress to no builders and furniture. Val proposes to make ruffs for Fergus and Angus to wear en maison.

But I digress: Fergus told me all about his face – when I met him in the street. It’s being re-done. By an oncologist with a side-line in radical face work. Three treatments six weeks apart.  £750. Full facial anaethesia is achieved, then a spiked roller is worked thoroughly over the numbed skin resulting in deep-level re-activation and build-up of connective tissue. Only one day off work necessary to recover.

By Christmas we should be seeing results. Let’s look forward. Fergus Strachan will be even more gorgeous. The treatment is called Dermarola. The alternative is Laser Skin Resurfacing, requiring a week off work.