Wednesday 16^th June 2010

Hotels, villas, villas, hotels!  The Poor Little Rich Gay summer  holiday season is underway. Which means only one thing, or should do – hospital levels of inertia, complete immersion in decor, service, towels, bed linen, menus and treatment rooms.

Blanche Spain, Robert Nevil and Joshua Baring are at Menton. We shall be hearing from them in due. Meanwhile, Harry Rollo, the impresario and performance artist, as well as one of our most prominent Poor Little Rich Gays, known  here and throughout the world, is being reassembled, apparently alone, at La Residencia, after a gruelling tour.  You remember he said last week there were no PLRGs there, only old footballers. But they have been there, I can tell you. Robin Smallmeal, head of landfill in this country or whatever, was there with his partner, Simon Limpney, who had to be air-lifted out after the treatments proved too gruelling. Harry is not taking the treatments. In fact he describes the hotel as charming and simple, not good enough for Sir Alec Guinness, plagued by nightingales, but if you don’t want the treatments (sauna, spa, facial, pins stuck in, hot stones, birch twigs, mud, seaweed, acid attack, sandpapering, planing – go on , La Res, sue!), you might as well take a simple pensione nearby.

But I don’t think Poor Little Rich Gays could manage without La Residencia. Even the austere Lord Arrowby has hovered nearby. The Multis flew out for a weekend with the head of the rival landfill outfit to Smallmeal’s.

Harry has engayed his vacation (i.e. given it a hospital/clinic/treatment emphasis – Smallmeal is always carried on holiday, never walks, although able) by concentrating on restaurants. See graphs below. The one you see has a water menu and a choice of five local olive oils carried around on a special table by the staff. Harry had guinea-fowl with prawns and lemon sauce and choc fondant with marzipan ice-cream. The second time he went there he at last saw the gays. You always do in the end. German couple, 20 year age gap at least, wedding rings, older, noble, Rolex, often consulted, the younger, with arms folded, slyly looking at Harry. The senior, on rising for the loo, was revealed to be SHORT.

So much to bear. Somehow they knew that Harry was texting about them. Gays sense these things. They made a grand exit with matching leather clutch bags.

Restaurant with Water Menu Enjoyed by Harry Rollo in Marjorca

Table Carried Round by Waitress to Present 5 Olive Oils at Restaurant Enjoyed by Harry Rollo

Guinea-fowl with Prawns and Lemon Sauce Taken by Harry Rollo in Marjorca