Tuesday 10th February 2026

Royston King kindly funded a Special Tour. It was given by a young woman from Australia. Her detail was amazing. But there’s always the worry these days that an Australian might suddenly offer an individual Beef Wellington, perhaps with colour-coded flags stuck in it.

This guide also had three people out of only seven on her tour actively in competition. But even Royston admitted he never knew that ‘nave’ derives from ships. A nave looks like an upturned ship. And that a Chapter House is where chapters are read and a Chantry is for chanting. Obvious really when you think about it. But not even Royston King had ever thought about it.

The Abbey was built in two phases by Richard 11 and Henry 111. You can see clearly where one phase ends and the other one begins.

I’ve toured the Abbey several times before and nobody mentioned these phases. Do we now remember the medieval kings? Who can tell one from the other? Henry IV was very modern and did for Richard 11 to get the throne. Edward 1 had long legs. Edward 11 was no good.

When did they reign? And for how long. No idea.

We stopped by a Shrine where a relic is housed – possibly. It was a kind of table wedged into a wall. The relic might have been a bit of Our Lord’s Blood or a Piece of the True Cross (yawn, yawn). But I don’t think it was – it was somebody’s finger, I thought. I wish I’d been listening more. The three further experts and the dainty Australian guide who was like a taut rope, holding on, with or without a supply of individual Beef Wellingtons – well, there was so much learned talk, I somehow got into my head the relic was still there. I’m sure they were saying the Abbey remains Catholic in a way. With the 4 experts and only 3 others hanging on – well, I really do think they all thought the same as me, the hangers-on, that is. There was much murmuring and relic relevance.

The Abbey is grubby looking and crammed with old junk, although wonderful. Is anybody ever going to clear out all those old tombs? Hordes vyed to get in for burial or at least a plaque. So you’ve got Elizabeth 1 and Mary, Queen of Scots, then some obscure daughter or unknown bureaucrat. The tombs of the medieval monarchs are made of polished mud: v. brown. But confusingly, parts of the Abbey have been newly painted quite a yellow shade of cream – such as the Henry V11 chapel, giving a brand-new look and rather common. So maybe it’s best they don’t reno if they’re not going to do it properly.

But surely they could get a dusting rota going for all those old statues? Aren’t there any ladies or men of the parish who could come in?

It’s comforting that the Abbey is quite small, although very high. So cosy for the Royal Family on great occasions.

The guide said that Catherine Wales cracked the Cosmati pavement with her cluck. They heard it quite clearly as she docked at the altar for her Wedding. The crack is being left as part of history.

The Cosmati is glorious and shows that a lot of medieval was quite foreign. As well as symmetrical and ordered – unlike as darling Ruskin believed kind of organic and haphazard and more at the craft end.

Our highlight was special access to the Jerusalem Chamber. This is where Henry 1V died. As a room it looked Victorian. But, before dying Henry 1V said, ‘Heavy lies the head that wears the Crown.’ He said these words in the Jerusalem Chamber before dying there. Precious Stormy wasn’t actually there, of course, but heard about it later and so sang that song: ‘Heavy lies the Head that Wears the Crown.’

I don’t know what is so Jerusalem about the Jerusalem Chamber. Now it is used for Receptions and Drinks Parties.

Afterwards it was a glorious evening with huge skies, the park looking magnificent, the setting sun and that sudden opening up you get on a brilliant winter day after much gloom and wet.

How we are creatures of the weather.