The Multis – Latest! At Auction, Loved by Their Tenants and Freezing Dinner «

The Multis – Latest! At Auction, Loved by Their Tenants and Freezing Dinner

Monday 31st May 2010

A week ago last Thursday (sorry, so behind) the Multis were in the front row at the auction but it was in a primary school, so low kiddie benches. Chantal Joffe, the artist,whose daughter goes to the school, invited us. All in aid of a poor teacher who had a catastrophic stroke. Women staff swirling and swooping (they’d be offended by ‘ladies’), massive organisation, hand-made banners, running buffet, 75p, all-you-can-eat, samosas etc. Surprising results. The auctioneer, donating his services, was from Savills, Berkeley Square. Bids were not at first forthcoming, especially for the signed Chelsea shirt or the week in the flat in Athens, but this man conjured money from nothing. £19,000, ultimately. In Hackney, as well. Crashingly snobbish-sounding, I know, but astonishing number of handsome track-suited East End men willing to stump large sums for art works.

Is this the New Britain?

The Blond Multi’s first bid for the Chantal Joffe drawing sliced in a slither before the hammer went down. What technique! He got it. She was sitting right next to him, in fact. Usually sells at Trenton’s gallery for £40,000. The Multis also bid strategically for the paintings by Jasper Joffe (her bad brother) and Dan Coombs (her partner, hewn from rock) to boost the price. They couldn’t be bothered with the Chapman brothers print which went to a Hackney man in trackies for £3500. They forked about £1000 overall.

After we went down the Lahore Kebab House, London’s cheapest restaurant, with Elsa Hodgeman, the Gertrude Stein de nos jours, and Chantal Joffe herself who was taken by the way the Blond Multi routed out the only bottle of Bollinger lurking behind some Jacob’s Creek in the frightful Off-licence next door, which is not quite smelling of Alsatian. The Lahore is bring your own, you see.

Subsequently the Photographer Multi has received a tear-making farewell e-mail from a grateful tenant agonising about how to get her presents through his letter-box and hailing him as a wonderful father-figure. Both Multis have had some curious dining experiences. See graph below. At first I thought that tin of golden syrup was actually on the pavement. Last night they were at La Pont de la Tour, their local. Al fresco, but freezing until wrapped in blankets by grateful waiters. The Photographer Multi draws a parallel with our monarch’s tendency to travelling rugs.

I do notice that the very rich like to be wrapped. Barbara Cartland, loathed Robin Smallmeal, arch-enemy number one, head of landfill in this country or whatever, they all love a rug. So if ever you’re stuck for a present for your multi friends…..