Saturday 29th May 2010

This morning I put a black-mailing call through to Lord Arrowby. ‘Lord Arrowby,’ I messaged, ‘you’ve been blanking me.’ I’ve twice invited him but pas de response although he has thrillingly summoned me to his summer party.

Would you believe it, he messaged back, in person, his own voice? Not a bit cross, couldn’t have been more soothing and benign. Pressure of work.  Demands of running the country. Not sure if he can escape to come to my dinner on Thursday. Just about to board for Leeds on top-level government business. As a matter of fact, he’s there now at the Marriot if you happen to be passing and want to catch a glimpse…He says the Malmaison’s noisy and badly lit.

He might also nip out to H Nicks in Leeds. You remember he bought that hot padded jacket in brown and blue by Dolce e Gabbana there before Christmas and got the price down even though it wasn’t sale time.

So we had a little flurry of texting and e-mailing. Oh this is rare! Lord A claims to have no banter and nonsense. Such a mystery. Enticing. He sent the graph in the previous entry from his new iPhone.  Announced he had self upgraded to First Class. Then a quieter murmur: Would my dinner be ‘performative’? If so, would be hard for him as a shy one.

Poor Lord Arrowby!  So like Mr Darcy. Always driving for goodness and the truth. Mistrustful of carry-on. I said, Bruce MacBain is coming, the last word in straight-acting. But shy! Lord Arrowby in his high-print shirts and tight trousers whirling champagne about, glowing, glorious host at either his Christmas or his summer party! And what about all those lectures delivered to seething hordes of government officials.

But I know what he means. Glamour and public speaking often the other side of the coin of private and retiring. I’m shy too. My pre- during- and post-dinner-giving nerves have to be seen to be believed. And getting worse.

On the whole I think Lord Arrowby and I are getting more used to each other. Maybe within the next five years we’ll take a mini-break together. Separate rooms, of course, or twin. In the meantime, think of him by himself in the hotel room in Leeds. Giving and giving for our nation.