Not Matching.. «

Not Matching..

Saturday 28th May 2022

The clasp of one of my bags came loose. A tiny bespoke screw was missing. In King’s Cross a bag repair shop couldn’t quite match it. The agony is whether to forge through to Lancel, the bag’s makers, in Paris and extract from them a true screw.

I haven’t used the bag since. My other brown one is fielded. On the other hand, the wrong screw is turned from public gaze and this bag carries particularly well, although when it first arrived I thought it too tan.

But knowing it’s wrong… in my heart can I bear it? To deceive and conceal, to parade a bag with a hidden error, tricking the public. How can that be right?

Then my superb maid sent me a photo of my washing machine while I was out. Error Code such and such. Men sent for to repair turned out to be clueless. Days of Launderette life, plunged back to the 1970s. Eventually the machine pronounced beyond repair. Only 5 years old. Pay £100 extra for new one to be installed. Two very fat men appear. No possibility of lifting it. One of them cuts himself at once. No first aid kit. Tended by me, Adrian Edge, he gives a lurid account of his finger hanging by a thread, all but severed, although before my eyes and his it is lightly grazed. His truth, though, although not true, cannot be contested.

I have to help them heave the thing down the stairs. It’s an integrated machine – or rather was. The new one won’t integrate. If properly aligned the outer door won’t open. Marvellous. Why? The hinges are in a slightly different place. £££££ on an integrated kitchen with machines concealed – a uniformity of cupboard achieved at vast expense. Surely fairly obvs that a replacement machine should be identical to the previous one, you’d have thought, wouldn’t you? But no…

A handyman is coming on Tuesday. He says he can put it right.

Hoping and praying.