Thursday 29th April 2010
Time for a colour feature.
I’ve wondered about the place of gardening in the Poor Little Rich Gay sphere since it might involve actually doing it yourself. I’ve decided that it’s all right provided it is very particular, labour-intensive and complex.
As it happens I can’t bear a garden designer, unless it is the adorable Sean Swallow, of course. Robin Smallmeal’s London garden, from which I am now banished, is a cold block of shaped box, trimmed twice a year and the clippings vac-ed up by a hired team.
Now I think of it, the Blond Multi has been secretly growing indoor geraniums all the winter on the stairs leading up to the penthouse. He has achieved a cascading floral bank. The Photographer Multi, too, self-gardens the wrap-around roof terrace with glorious disregard for the rules.
Robert Nevil, fellow gardener (in the garden we both find solace and escape from trouble; plants are something to look after), had the idea of growing mixed tulips. Terrible challenge, quite besides squirrels to be kept out with thorny twigs. The tulips won’t necessarily flower together even if the same type. Just don’t behave. You have to try it one year, then, the next, plant the earlier ones on their sides to delay flowering.
If you don’t know that tulips are a bulb you won’t know what I’m talking about.
I got through all that but look at the result! See graph below. What was I thinking? That orange one was the last out. I’d forgotten about it. Before it was rather tasteful with the purple and the white. I’ve been watching with mounting horror the creeping orange doing its wrecking work.
A true Poor Little Rich Gay would pull them out. But I just can’t. A living thing. Taken so much trouble to grow.
Or would they? The alternative is to embrace, embrace – absolutely stunning, you say to spectators, those violently clashing colours yoked together by my willpower. It’s new, it’s an outrage, it was intended all along.
Oh dear! White Triumphator, Maytime(purple) and Ballerina (orange)
On the Other Hand, Utter Glory!
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Thank you for these photographs. You are right to keep the dear orange tulips. The colours work well together – gorgeous Renaissance drapery comes to mind. The two colour arrangement alone would have been far too tasteful to give any pleasure.
I think you would approve of Matt Driver’s inaugural planting of Queen of the Night with white fritillaries. A triumph of restraint.
Oh Matt Driver’s creative side. Do send us a graph.
What is so thrilling is that Matt Driver’s salary far exceeds Robin Smallmeal’s, head of landfill in this country. But while Smallmeal spends Sunday morning making up staff rotas (half the ladies of …..shire putting in hours), MD self-irons, self-gardens and has a chronically untidy bedroom with a wife in it, the unsurpassed Laura Malcolm
You are so encouraging.
Utter Glory: no question.
Reading truly dreadful biography of that notorious horticulural colourist ‘Christo’ Lloyd of Great Dixter. Suffered from Classic Monster Gay Mother (so unlike Mrs Edge Snr), but created lovely garden.
Book written by Poor Little Rich Het (though looks a screamer) and so absolutely clueless. Utterly utterly shy-making.
But ‘Christo’ was always ripping out the mother’s yuccas, wasn’t he?
Revenge. And it was roses.