{"id":609,"date":"2009-11-04T15:06:15","date_gmt":"2009-11-04T15:06:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/?p=609"},"modified":"2009-11-04T15:09:32","modified_gmt":"2009-11-04T15:09:32","slug":"at-last-my-waxed-jeans-%e2%80%93-full-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/?p=609","title":{"rendered":"At Last, My Waxed Jeans \u2013 Full Story"},"content":{"rendered":"

Wednesday 4th<\/sup> November 2009<\/p>\n

I\u2019m just about to board for Oxford, for the Ashmolean opening. Mustn\u2019t forget my invitation. Essential for admission.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t been to Ford in years, not since the days of my great friendship with Paul Taylor, theatre critic of the Independent<\/em> as was \u2013 there\u2019s an outstanding personality who ought to be commemorated.<\/p>\n

Now my waxed jeans.\u00a0 I did a terrible thing.<\/p>\n

I know it\u2019s a loose thread and you\u2019ve all been waiting to hear the end of it. To remind: the problem. In August I bought at H Nicks a pair of black<\/em> waxed jeans by Lindeberg.\u00a0 \u00a390. Completely adore them but what to do, what to do about washing? Suppose, through washing, the waxed aspect ceases? Think about getting another, identical back-up pair. But no, too boring. See at Zara some brown<\/em> waxed \u2013 perfect, different colour, a real addition to the wardrobe etc. Must have the sheen. It\u2019s new, it\u2019s exciting, it\u2019s this season. But, but, but, none in my size. Meanwhile, lurking in the background are some brown waxed by Diesel at one hundred and ninety pounds<\/em>. I had formed but not executed a plan to try these on and find fault with them \u2013 always a good approach with what you can\u2019t or shouldn\u2019t afford.<\/p>\n

So, it is Saturday 16th<\/sup> October. The following week I\u2019m to be in Madrid with the Gay Mother. \u00a0If I leave it any longer, vultures will have picked clean all shelves of every pair of brown waxed. All the branches of Zara to be covered that day in search of … \u00a0Well, it\u2019s getting late. Nearly 4pm. Mottram expected for dinner. I\u2019ve tried King\u2019s Road branch, Oxford Street, Regent Street. Am at Westfield Shopping Centre, Shepherd\u2019s Bush, miles from home, way off course. Nothing there either. Actually not even a shop. I have to phone to White City. \u00a0Zara in Whiteley\u2019s Centre absolute last chance. Get them on the phone. Yes, they\u2019ve got a pair in my size!\u00a0 I roar off, pound into the shop, barely able to speak, crash into the changing room.<\/p>\n

You won\u2019t believe it. They don\u2019t fit. Too tight on the waist.\u00a0 Although my size. Also, too baggy in the front. Get into a total muddle. Maybe I should try a bigger size. But they haven\u2019t got bigger size, which would be even more baggy, wouldn\u2019t they? What if I go to another branch, try bigger size but still want these ones, that don\u2019t fit? I come back to Whiteley\u2019s and they\u2019re gone! Prospect of no waxed jeans at all opening up. Unthinkable. Creeping thought starts creeping \u2013 only \u00a335, might get to like them more, have it in cash, can\u2019t be any harm, maybe somehow they will stretch and shrink.<\/p>\n

There I am, out on the street, with the bag. I have a little interlude at Whole Foods in Kensington High Street. Buy sea-bass filets for \u00a312.92. That over, I vow to return home. With perhaps, just a little tiny diversion to H. Nicks, where the Diesel brown waxed are, at \u00a3190. Really should try them, just to be quite sure they\u2019re not right. It\u2019s a duty, really.<\/p>\n

So, to H.Nicks. Pound downstairs, straight to exact spot of Diesel brown waxed jeans. Thoughts starting to veer. Maybe, with a little bit of creative accounting, if I count it as pre-spending on my January sale clothes budget… but surely they will be horrid.<\/p>\n

Well, they\u2019re not horrid. They fit perfectly. I writhe in the changing booth. But probably not enough. It\u2019s so wicked. I will surely rot in hell. How reckless! On the other hand, you only live once….I should be bolder in my spending. Caution has always held me back. What would the Multis do?\u00a0 If I pay \u00a3100 in cash, somehow it won\u2019t count. And get the whole thing over with as fast as possible…<\/p>\n

That\u2019s it. That\u2019s the story of the brown waxed jeans. Now I must dash up and clamber into Diesel heaven for the Ashmolean opening \u2013 except, I\u2019ve just remembered, the invitation says, \u2018Dress: cocktail\u2019. What on earth does that mean?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Wednesday 4th November 2009 I\u2019m just about to board for Oxford, for the Ashmolean opening. Mustn\u2019t forget my invitation. Essential for admission.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t been to Ford in years, not since the days of my great friendship with Paul Taylor, theatre critic of the Independent as was \u2013 there\u2019s an outstanding personality who ought to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-609","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adrain-edge"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/609","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=609"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/609\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":611,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/609\/revisions\/611"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=609"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=609"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=609"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}