{"id":470,"date":"2009-10-13T14:40:43","date_gmt":"2009-10-13T13:40:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/?p=470"},"modified":"2009-10-19T12:21:23","modified_gmt":"2009-10-19T11:21:23","slug":"no-pants-leads-to-trouble-or-does-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/?p=470","title":{"rendered":"No Pants Leads to Trouble"},"content":{"rendered":"
Tuesday 13th October 2009<\/div>\n

It’s been a difficult morning. I’m in a tangle.\u00a0 No clean pants. This is the root of it. With all these entertainments recently I’ve got behind with the washing. And now I’m dashing for Grayson Perry’s talk about his Walthamstow Tapestry (Robert Nevil and Sebastian Archer, former residents of Walthumbria – will they be in it?)\u00a0 at 3pm and can’t remember if I wore my suede jacket the last time at that gallery and Trenton, the gorgeous, massively pec-ed, four trainers-a -week mega A gay, might be there so I’d better watch out.<\/p>\n

What else have I got to wear?<\/p>\n

Until about 30 mins ago I was unable to eleve (is that the French for ‘get dressed’?\u00a0 I don’t think so). Finally I forced a pair of pants dry with the iron. As you know I had a rotten time at the summer sales. Very few pants\u00a0slashed in price\u00a0and of those that were I bought the wrong size. That’s why I ran out. I’ve \u00a0hatched a plan to go to\u00a0TK Maxx (have you heard of it? Will they have\u00a0Calvin Klein red waistband or pink?\u00a0For nothing?).<\/p>\n

When you have no money, there’s always always<\/em> a way of getting hold of required goods. \u00a0Only problem – no idea where TK Maxx is.<\/p>\n

But last night low temps were announced and I had to drag my colocasias in from the upstairs terrace. Only place to put them my upstairs bathroom. Too much effort to drag them four flights downstairs where they can be stored properly. Result virtually impossible to get in (see below). They’re huge plants, you see, known as elephants’ ears, and terribly tender. Slightest little chill, they die.<\/p>\n

So maybe it was – bathroom full of leaves – couldn’t gain access for shower – no pants – morning unravels.<\/p>\n

Plus, tomorrow Anthony Mottram comes on a visit. First time in three months apart from last week’s \u00a0lightening appearance. Isn’t it extraordinary, by the way, him eating my Kiehl’s Rare Earth Facial Masque? There must be something wrong with him.<\/p>\n

Now he only comments on the home if there’s something not right. So, having dragged the colocasias out of my bathroom and heaved them down four\u00a0floors to the ‘lower ground floor’ (plastic sheeting fetched out of the cellar\u00a0to put them on\u00a0etc. All in my dressing gown) and finally got into the shower,what do I see? Yes, that’s right. STAINED GROUTING. Mottram will have a fit.\u00a0 I should have followed Bruce McBain’s advice and had grey grouting which always looks all right – so he said. But I don’t like grey grouting.<\/p>\n

So it’s down to the other bathroom to fetch the mould removing spray and the special toothbrush.\u00a0 To clean my shower you have to be in it, so there I am, with nothing on, wielding the spray which is nasty stuff, mainly bleach. Hate, hate anything to do with grout. There’s always a bit missed. And I’m sensitive about bathrooms.\u00a0In my old place (don’t tell anyone) I had an avocado bathroom. An AVOCADO bathroom, never refurb. One day, Frankie-Doreen Gunn, the dynamo, said: ‘You know your bathroom stinks. We think it’s because of all that washing you keep in there.’ Evidently she and Giles Ulverston, her husband, talked of little else when alone. These days, Robert Nevil never misses a chance\u00a0to point out the promixity of my downstairs bathroom to my dining room because I once said that you can hear a lav flushing in his drawing room (yes, drawing room, not sitting room. Pretentious. Don’t care. I started saying it\u00a0and the wind changed. Too bad). Last night I sent him a photo of the colocasias in the upstairs bathroom. He replied, ‘I see you’ve removed the dining chairs,’\u00a0 cruelly and deliberately\u00a0confusing my\u00a0bathrooms.<\/p>\n

At least I’ve got two bathrooms, Robert Nevil.<\/p>\n

Robert Nevil and Sebastian Archer have always had the classic top gay attitude to decor and the home\u00a0– i.e. we know best.<\/p>\n

But my downstairs bathroom in this house I do hate. I fear it smells of damp and there’s always stained grouting. If they get that mine going the first thing I’ll do is take a sledge hammer to it.<\/p>\n

The gay bathroom should be indistinguishable from a hotel bathroom. Mottram’s guest bathroom in\u00a0Prague\u00a0is known as ‘the hotel bathroom’.\u00a0 As with hotels, the gay bathroom should be re-built annually.<\/p>\n

But, I was saying – I’m spraying the mould with the mould spray\u00a0in my shower.\u00a0 It gets on my feet. What will Grayson Perry think if I smell of bleach? Somehow I’ve taken the old towels downstairs and not brought up new. So I wash my feet and dry with kitchen paper (yes, kept in the bathroom for cleaning). Back downstairs to get towels with idea of washing feet more thoroughly. Then decide not to use towels in case they get immediately dirty from the feet. So repeat previous washing procedure. Piece of kitc paper lands in the loo.<\/p>\n

Despite all this I’ve not cleaned my teeth and it’s Grayson Perry in twenty minutes.<\/p>\n

Good-bye!<\/p>\n

\"Colocasias

Colocasias Choke my Bathroom<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tuesday 13th October 2009 It’s been a difficult morning. I’m in a tangle.\u00a0 No clean pants. This is the root of it. With all these entertainments recently I’ve got behind with the washing. And now I’m dashing for Grayson Perry’s talk about his Walthamstow Tapestry (Robert Nevil and Sebastian Archer, former residents of Walthumbria – […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-470","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adrain-edge"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/470","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=470"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/470\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":541,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/470\/revisions\/541"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=470"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=470"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=470"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}