{"id":463,"date":"2009-10-09T17:42:45","date_gmt":"2009-10-09T16:42:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/?p=463"},"modified":"2009-10-09T17:42:45","modified_gmt":"2009-10-09T16:42:45","slug":"%e2%80%98no-no-i%e2%80%99m-not-free-for-six-weeks-at-least-%e2%80%99-poor-little-rich-gays-and-the-availability-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/?p=463","title":{"rendered":"\u2018No, no, I\u2019m not free for six weeks at least.\u2019 Poor Little Rich Gays and the Availability Game"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0Friday 9th<\/sup> October 2009<\/p>\n

\u00a0Anthony Mottram turned up out of the blue yesterday, on his way back from a death. Behaved outrageously, but I\u2019ll tell you all about it tomorrow.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Today is Laura Malcolm\u2019s Tuscany Reunion Dinner. Everyone who coincided with her at the Multis\u2019 villa is to assemble. I\u2019ve been to so many dinners recently, I\u2019ve run through every possible outfit. The only hope is the ludicrous Prada slacklettes I bought in the summer but I\u2019ve got so fat from the dinners, I can\u2019t struggle into them.<\/p>\n

\u00a0But that\u2019s not my point. \u00a0What we need to inspect is the amazing display of arse and grandeur that ensued when Laura issued her invitation at the end of August. \u2018September\u2019s completely impossible,\u2019they queened and shrieked. \u00a0\u2018We\u2019re wall-to-wall. Fully booked.\u2019 \u00a0Poor Laura was batting dates back and forth for an entire week. The photographer Multi remarked: \u2018Funny thing. They were all available for dinner \u2013 and lunch \u2013 in Tuscany.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u00a0But, back to London and it\u2019s out with the attitude. \u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0In the end we did well to find a date only six weeks off.<\/p>\n

\u00a0So we come to a matter at the heart of top gay life \u2013 availability or rather total absence of …<\/p>\n

\u00a0Smallmeal, despite then being near the top of the landfill or whatever, hadn\u2019t got the idea when I first knew him in the mid 90s. He once called me up at five in the afternoon to invite for dinner there and then. But he soon learned. Maybe he learned from Limpney. The final, as it turned out, invitations to Massivebury were issued three months in advance . \u00a0I once answered my phone at the end of October and there was Limpney, in his best Queen Massivebury voice, announcing: \u201815th<\/sup> December \u2013 that\u2019s the earliest I can see you.\u2019 \u00a0Given all this carry-on, it was rather strange that the only intelligible reason ever given for the abrupt termination of our friendship was that I\u2019d made poor Limpney feel guilty about not seeing enough of me.<\/p>\n

\u00a0But how could this be when it was him wielding the diary all the time?<\/p>\n

\u00a0Which brings us to perhaps the most crucial implement of all in high gay life \u2013 yes, the diary. You must have one and you should always refer to it importantly as the <\/em>diary. Once you\u2019ve got it you must fill it up, especially if you\u2019re feeling lonely or wondering if anyone really likes you. It\u2019s not difficult. Just make a list of everyone you know and then make a rota for inviting them to dinner or even tea, if you\u2019re cutting back. That way you can easily fill up your diary until at least next April. You could even include people you don\u2019t know if necessary.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The huge advantage of this method is that if anyone has the nerve to invite you at the last minute you can genuinely refuse rather than having to pretend you couldn\u2019t possibly be free at such short notice. Even so, some gays do decline all invitations on the grounds that they can never be assumed to be free.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The diary approach needs to be supplemented, should you actually meet anyone, by the deployment of certain phrases such as, \u2018I\u2019ll hope to see you before Easter\u2019 (very effective if said just after Christmas). Finally you should acquire a large country house; then you\u2019ll be relieved of the burden of at least three potentially worrying nights a week in London with only four left to fill. What\u2019s more, your friends and even, oh joy, non-friends will be battering to get onto your rota for country house visits.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0Friday 9th October 2009 \u00a0Anthony Mottram turned up out of the blue yesterday, on his way back from a death. Behaved outrageously, but I\u2019ll tell you all about it tomorrow. \u00a0Today is Laura Malcolm\u2019s Tuscany Reunion Dinner. Everyone who coincided with her at the Multis\u2019 villa is to assemble. I\u2019ve been to so many dinners […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-463","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adrain-edge"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/463","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=463"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/463\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":464,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/463\/revisions\/464"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=463"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=463"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=463"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}