{"id":440,"date":"2009-09-30T17:43:58","date_gmt":"2009-09-30T16:43:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/?p=440"},"modified":"2010-01-16T14:02:33","modified_gmt":"2010-01-16T14:02:33","slug":"i-build-up-to-my-dinner-party-tomorrow","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/?p=440","title":{"rendered":"I Build Up to My Dinner Party Tomorrow"},"content":{"rendered":"

Wednesday 30th<\/sup> September 2009<\/p>\n

As I was saying, before so rudely interrupted by Robert Nevil starring at the Puja, my menu for my birthday dinner tomorrow came through on Monday night. If you\u2019re wondering why RN was so honoured, as I\u2019m sure you are, it was because he spoke up in favour of a kitchen or flower room or some such thing being added to the Isle of Dogs Temple.<\/p>\n

So no money involved, merely goodness. Smallmeal, of course, would just donate \u00a3100,000, if he inclined towards Hinduism, which he doesn\u2019t, as far as I know.<\/p>\n

Now my menu \u2013 I\u2019m doing everything wrong. 13 are to dine. A sensible person would wheel out trusty old favourites \u2013 fish pie and apple crumble perhaps. These dishes are heard of in our world, but you have to use Angus Willis\u2019s recipes, which elevate them onto another plane \u2013 I can\u2019t quite remember how; I\u2019ll tell you one day. But I\u2019m using untried Ottolenghi and even unknown ingredients, although Mrs Solomon Bung of California did tell me that sumac is all right. I want my food to be new, you see, the latest thing.<\/p>\n

Absolute madness.<\/p>\n

The first course is figs with pecorino (already got from La Michelson at La Fromagerie, as instructed in the Ottolenghi book: the exact, named Pecorino: \u00a322) and honey. Then I\u2019m doing chicken with this sumac and something called za\u2019atar. And my pudding \u2013 well, there\u2019s a falling off because it\u2019s Nigella. Nigella at her most mumsie and embarrassing as to phraseology: \u2018If you want to keep apple-y…\u2019 she goes. I did want to keep apple-y because there were no damsons to be had and apples are in season now. So I\u2019m doing her Apple Charlotte.\u00a0 Angus Willis can’t bear Nigella. Won’t have her name mentioned. Total amateur, he claims, no restaurant experience.<\/p>\n

So is it even a proper gay menu? Should I be bothering about the food at all? Some queens give everything \u00a0to the table styling, the matching sets, the ranks of glassware, the napery, the candles<\/em>: then, if you\u2019re Ralph Kitto, the art collector of South Kensington, you bust open the M and S ready-dinners or phone for pizza \u2013 this really is true.<\/p>\n

The Gay dinner\u00a0 is always bizarre, always outstanding, always fiercely meant.<\/em><\/p>\n

Certainly queenaria has featured in the assembling of my dinner so far. I\u2019ve been three times to Waitrose (that\u2019s our top supermart in UK if you\u2019re in foreign). The first time, no chestnut honey and behind the \u2018sumac\u2019 label in the spice rack \u2013 an empty space! Couldn\u2019t believe it!\u00a0 Will not have vultures picking clean the shelves!<\/p>\n

But at least evidence that sumac exists.<\/p>\n

So far, I\u2019ve given the best part of two days to my dinner, with one more to go. It \u00a0might be different if there are two of you or if Mottram had turned up to help me, but don\u2019t believe anyone who tells you it can all be whirled together in no time at all. You\u2019ll end up in an asylum. Phone in sick, or, better still, give up work entirely if you\u2019re going to take dinner-party giving seriously.<\/p>\n

Gays suffer more, you know, and bear it better \u2013 for their art and in other ways.<\/p>\n

Finally \u2013 money. \u00a0Chicken \u2013 you have noticed \u2013 yes, cheap! Mummy Nigella calls for Calvados in her apple-y apple-y apple puree. I had some lovely Somerset Apple Brandy (the same thing) given me by my late uncle, but Mottram appears to have drunk it all on his visits here. I did look for some more. \u00a317 a bottle! \u00a0Didn\u2019t contemplate. Slashed it straight out.<\/p>\n

But I\u2019ve slammed two bottles of Tattinger on my credit card. On offer at Majestic. Debts are racking up again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Wednesday 30th September 2009 As I was saying, before so rudely interrupted by Robert Nevil starring at the Puja, my menu for my birthday dinner tomorrow came through on Monday night. If you\u2019re wondering why RN was so honoured, as I\u2019m sure you are, it was because he spoke up in favour of a kitchen […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-440","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adrain-edge"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/440","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=440"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/440\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":857,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/440\/revisions\/857"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=440"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=440"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=440"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}