{"id":2691,"date":"2011-09-21T20:02:00","date_gmt":"2011-09-21T19:02:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/?p=2691"},"modified":"2011-09-21T20:02:00","modified_gmt":"2011-09-21T19:02:00","slug":"val-pinned-presides","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/?p=2691","title":{"rendered":"Val, Pinned, Presides"},"content":{"rendered":"

Wednesday 21st<\/sup> September 2011<\/p>\n

In Tuscany I said to Laura Malcolm I need more words for alcoholic drink. She said, \u2018What about \u201csauce\u201d?\u2019 Then, Sandi Toksvig, presiding over Antiques Master,<\/em> accused an old doll of having overdone \u2018the cordial\u2019.<\/p>\n

It had a flushed appearance, you see.<\/p>\n

So poor old Val toppled in a fit of enthusiasm for cordial and broke his hip. He is now pinned and back in the flat with a zimmer, unable to apply weight for five weeks. For his invalid spell he is wearing self-made pyjamas in a Zimbabwean craft fabric. Oh yes! Val has travelled.<\/p>\n

He commands from a chair; superb household management, absolute control of every detail. \u2018There\u2019s an article about Kate\u2019s hair!\u2019 he shrieked, picking up the Guardian<\/em>. He read out the entire recipe (it\u2019s the Duchess of Cambridge, if you\u2019re a bit backward). \u2018Apply serum for gleam and movement as well as volumising root booster.\u2019 \u2018It\u2019s all in the Guardian<\/em>,\u2019 Val remarked, \u2018it must be true.\u2019<\/p>\n

The total cost of \u2018The Kate\u2019 is \u00a3137.94 apparently, not including cost of actual hair if you haven\u2019t got it on head already. But, as Val rightly pointed out, it\u2019s an investment.<\/p>\n

The Guardian<\/em> went on with a fearless expose<\/em> of the hair arrangements for the Royal Wedding day. Hairdressers worked\u00a0 an 18-hour shift. We couldn\u2019t quite picture it. \u2018Just imagine if you were first under the drier,\u2019 said Val. \u2018Stuck there for 18 hours having fatuous banter with Mr Snippy or his equivalent.\u2019<\/p>\n

Later Val said, \u2018Let\u2019s move to Great Missenden!\u2019 I had to remind him that\u00a0 Marcia Forkbender hailed from there. Then we watched an entire TV programme about Hilary Mantel who was once graphed in person by the Photo Multi. \u2018I don\u2019t think she needs the Kate,\u2019 Val said. Finally Val observed that it would be easy to clad a boring Sixties estate house in the manner of Strawberry Hill.<\/p>\n

He wanted a third pillow fetching down from a high cupboard. To reach it I had to pitch out several bales of fabric onto the floor below. As I was leaving, he said, \u2018You couldn\u2019t, could you? Put them back, I mean.\u2019 I recalled Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?<\/em> \u2018Yes,\u2019 Val said, \u2018you could go all round the flat pulling my things out of drawers and then leave me here quite helpless.\u2019<\/p>\n

But I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

\"Val

Val in Important Self-Made Pyjamas in Craft Fabric from Zim<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Wednesday 21st September 2011 In Tuscany I said to Laura Malcolm I need more words for alcoholic drink. She said, \u2018What about \u201csauce\u201d?\u2019 Then, Sandi Toksvig, presiding over Antiques Master, accused an old doll of having overdone \u2018the cordial\u2019. It had a flushed appearance, you see. So poor old Val toppled in a fit of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2691","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adrain-edge"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2691","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2691"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2691\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2693,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2691\/revisions\/2693"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2691"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2691"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2691"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}