{"id":2482,"date":"2011-07-30T14:38:26","date_gmt":"2011-07-30T13:38:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/?p=2482"},"modified":"2011-07-30T14:38:26","modified_gmt":"2011-07-30T13:38:26","slug":"poor-little-rich-gays-at-sensational-rural-extreme-in-normandy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/?p=2482","title":{"rendered":"Poor Little Rich Gays at Sensational Rural Extreme in Normandy"},"content":{"rendered":"

Saturday 30th<\/sup> July 2011<\/p>\n

As every summer, I\u2019m drenched in the deep rural simplicity at Matt Driver and Laura Malcolm\u2019s Norman second home. Otherwise they are palatial and Bruce-MacBain-extended in Fulham\/Chelsea borders.<\/p>\n

Here Laura is inclined to wear an ancient frock which gives an air of declining mental health. The batterie de cuisine<\/em> is an old camping set from her father\u2019s caravan (Cornwall: the 70s). Yesterday we were hours in the hot sun, with the divine daughter (brains and looks), Ivy Driver, gathering plums from under their tree, then stoning outdoors at the table (as in Anna Karenina<\/em>) before bearing our triumphant labours indoors to be boiled for jam. Meanwhile Papa Driver, whose salary exceeds loathed Robin Smallmeal\u2019s, head of landfill in this country or whatever, in pyjamas from BA First Class, was upstairs creating a false wall from plasterboard in a bedroom, then, accompanied by his son, Kelm, in complete harmony as to choice of accompanying music (no generation gap now) applying Cats\u2019 Paw by Farrow and Ball.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve had a word with Kelm. He\u2019s at Art School, you know. He knows someone called Joplin who might be suitable.<\/p>\n

Now Matt is laying a brick path in the garden. He\u2019s got to get it level. \u2018It doesn\u2019t really matter,\u2019 he says, \u2018but one gets obsessed.\u2019 Yesterday I met him on the stairs bearing the local paper. \u2018I\u2019m going to study the property pages,\u2019 he said doggedly. This demesne is an excellent pastoral fastness; roses, fruit trees, a huge poplar planted years ago by an unknown former owner for his unknown eldest son, no other houses visible, even from the roof. Laura hurling debris from the refurbishment out of an upper window and the lawn otherwise strewn with paint rags cannot diminish its glory.<\/p>\n

\u2018They\u2019ll be building houses all around soon,\u2019 Matt says. There\u2019s some truth. Horrors have sprung up quite near. Hence the need to see if a larger manoir<\/em> with 100 acres is for sale.<\/p>\n

But meanwhile this Norman retreat is to be aggrandised. They\u2019re knocking through to the abutting barn. There\u2019s to be a grand salon<\/em> and a 4th<\/sup> toilet. Matt says status is now measured by number of toilets owned. He\u2019s got 8.<\/p>\n

Poor Esm\u00e9 Manning had to lie in a darkened one day. Such money worries. But she bucked up in the evening and did all the voices as we viewed How Green was My Valley<\/em> on DVD in the attic TV\/bedroom (net worth \u00a36m approx crammed in, \u00a31.2m being Esm\u00e9\u2019s). Her impersonation of sickening kiddie-star, Roddy McDowall, was superb. Kelm said: \u2018He looks like a little lesbian.\u2019 The part was to squeak, \u2018Yessir\u2019, \u2018Yessir\u2019, \u2018Yessir\u2019, with the occasional daring variation: \u2018Yes indeed sir.\u2019 He and his mother fell into an icy brook and the doctor said their legs had been frozen to the bone. Two years in bed seemed to thaw them out nicely but Esm\u00e9 was outraged at the mother\u2019s earlier recovery: \u2018Why\u2019s she got her lallies back before the boy and no weight loss?\u2019 Last night our selection was Gentleman\u2019s Agreement <\/em>with Gregory Peck. The love interest appeared in a gorgeous gauzy evening get-up. \u2018She\u2019s fallen into a net-curtain factory,\u2019 Esm\u00e9 said.<\/p>\n

Kelm is still doing his rendition of when Roddy McDowall got butch and had a boxing match.<\/p>\n

Aunt Lavinia\u2019s sister, Joan Burnish-Saner, was great friends with Roddy McDowall in Los Angeles. That was when he was grown up and an old queen.<\/p>\n

Esm\u00e9 could easily take over from Maureen Lipman or Miriam Margolyes if she put her mind to it.<\/p>\n

Well, do come back later to hear about our trip to Deauville (we thought: just a tiny touch of luxe <\/em>couldn\u2019t do any harm) and the encounter with volcanic mud, Ivy Driver\u2019s self-created \u2018Come Lunch with Me\u2019 competition, her mother\u2019s new direction in the kitchen (Ottolenghi now struggling for a foothold) and how Esm\u00e9\u2019s fortunes took a turn for the better.<\/p>\n

\"The

The Hard Ware Backing Up the Norman Rural Idyll - with Blue Mink Cat<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Matt

Matt Driver's Self-Lined Wall - with Chanel Bag<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Outdoor

Outdoor Jam-Making - So Simple. Note Camping Set Saucepan<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Ivy

Ivy Driver's Blue Mink Cat Lying on My D & G Spongebag and Amongst my Belts<\/p><\/div>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Saturday 30th July 2011 As every summer, I\u2019m drenched in the deep rural simplicity at Matt Driver and Laura Malcolm\u2019s Norman second home. Otherwise they are palatial and Bruce-MacBain-extended in Fulham\/Chelsea borders. Here Laura is inclined to wear an ancient frock which gives an air of declining mental health. The batterie de cuisine is an […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2482","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adrain-edge"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2482","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2482"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2482\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2483,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2482\/revisions\/2483"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2482"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2482"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2482"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}