{"id":2315,"date":"2011-06-05T11:54:24","date_gmt":"2011-06-05T10:54:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/?p=2315"},"modified":"2011-06-05T11:54:24","modified_gmt":"2011-06-05T10:54:24","slug":"how-lord-arrowby-wouldn%e2%80%99t-go-to-the-garden-%e2%80%93-but-a-happy-ending","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/?p=2315","title":{"rendered":"How Lord Arrowby Wouldn\u2019t Go to The Garden \u2013 But A Happy Ending"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sunday 5th<\/sup> June 2011<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been telling the story backwards and never quite getting to the heart of how Lord Arrowby, my part-time love interest, turned down the invitation to visit the Tom Stuart Smith garden in Hertfordshire on June 19th, with the result that we are now more intimate than ever.<\/p>\n

On May 10th<\/sup> I texted Lord Arrowby: \u2018Will you attend opening of Tom Stuart Smith garden at St Albans?\u2019 No reply. 18th<\/sup> May, I go: \u2018I\u2019m hurting, Lord Arrowby.\u2019 \u2018Why?\u2019 \u2018You blanked me.\u2019 \u2018But I ignore that text each year \u2013 it\u2019s mostly because I don\u2019t like car journeys, especially in summer. You should see my new blouson.\u2019 \u2018You\u2019re impossible.\u2019 \u2018Oh dear. I\u2019m sorry.\u2019 \u2018Talk about poor little rich gay.\u2019<\/p>\n

So I was quite firm about attending with Lord Arrowby on the next Saturday morning at Borough Market. That\u2019s when he said, \u2018Do stop hitting me.\u2019 He also said: \u2018I didn\u2019t realise it was an invitation,\u2019 \u2018It sounds as if you sent it to hundreds of people,\u2019 \u2018It\u2019s not properly expressed.\u2019 \u2018You\u2019re really rather cross, aren\u2019t you?\u2019 \u00a0\u2018I felt battered.\u2019<\/p>\n

He was being battered actually, on the left side, just then.<\/p>\n

But poor stricken Lord Arrowby! Oh the stricken look on his fine youthful face. He said, \u2018I\u2019m no good at texting.\u2019 Me: \u2018Well, get better at it.\u2019 It\u2019s nonsense anyway. He\u2019s a first class texter. I said: \u2018You\u2019ve got to diarise me, you know. It shouldn\u2019t just be me diarising you all the time.\u2019 \u2018Oh, yes,\u2019 he goes, \u2018I see. Maybe we could go to the theatre.\u2019<\/p>\n

I said: \u2018But we went on a car journey, and in summer, years ago with Robert Nevil.\u2019 He said: \u2018It was going back to Prep School, in the car. Stopping again and again for me to be sick.\u2019<\/p>\n

Prep and Public: they\u2019re kinds of boarding school. Many Poor Little Rich Gays were dispatched at the age of seven. Boarding means you sleep over in term time, never see the home for weeks and weeks. Just imagine, Mr and Mrs Arrowby, with little Lord Arrowby in the back, bowling along towards Normanhurst. That was his Prep. Later he was at Chillingborough. Only the best. Of course he wasn\u2019t yet Lord Arrowby, but I\u2019m sure he had many of the characteristics. \u2018Now then, Lord Arrowby,\u2019 Mr Arrowby would have said, once the trunk and tuck box were unloaded, \u2018you be a brave little chap.\u2019 Going down the drive in the Humber Snipe, Mrs Arrowby might have dabbed with her hanky. Best not to show the boy you were distressed, would only make it harder for him.<\/p>\n

What was little Lord Arrowby to do? All on his own, with awful decor, rock-bottom bedding, filthy food, even at a top Prepper. Not much choice really, but to become a Poor Little Rich Gay.<\/p>\n

Anyway \u2013 screen goes wonky, dissolve \u2013 back to the present. We parted at Borough Market. Lord Arrowby said: \u2018We\u2019ve been together for two hours. It hasn\u2019t been too bad.\u2019 I said: \u2018We\u2019re getting used to each other.\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sunday 5th June 2011 I\u2019ve been telling the story backwards and never quite getting to the heart of how Lord Arrowby, my part-time love interest, turned down the invitation to visit the Tom Stuart Smith garden in Hertfordshire on June 19th, with the result that we are now more intimate than ever. On May 10th […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2315","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adrain-edge"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2315","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2315"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2315\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2316,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2315\/revisions\/2316"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2315"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2315"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2315"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}