{"id":138,"date":"2009-07-26T18:01:46","date_gmt":"2009-07-26T17:01:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/?p=138"},"modified":"2009-08-05T23:19:57","modified_gmt":"2009-08-05T22:19:57","slug":"hets-go-off-the-rails-in-normandy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/?p=138","title":{"rendered":"Hets go off the rails in Normandy"},"content":{"rendered":"

Saturday 25th<\/sup> July 2009<\/p>\n

The others are very relaxed. Esme Manning, the actress, spent the whole of yesterday in her new lemon pyjamas with scalloped edge from Tescos. Laura has some amazing bulbous shoes nearly 25 years old kept exclusively for Norman use.<\/p>\n

\"Laura

Laura Malcolm's Norman footwear<\/p><\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

I come down in my new Alexander McQueen jeans (reduced) and a pink Paul Smith summer shirt from last year.<\/p>\n

My exercise regime is rigorous owing to the fabulous perpetual-Christmas-Day level of eating. It was easy to keep thin when young with no money for cheese or cream or chocs. I\u2019ve added in side-planks (I think that\u2019s what they\u2019re called). Absolute hell. Can only manage 45 seconds on each side before collapsing in agony. I\u2019ve also got to be taut and appealing for my Tuscan villa with pool holiday in August as well as for other purposes.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve mentioned before that the Riverside Multis have taken a six-bedroom villa for the last two weeks of August thereby sparking off a villa war with horrid Robin Smallmeal and Simon Limpney, who are going somewhere extraordinary like Rimini. Let\u2019s hope we hear more.<\/p>\n

\u00a0As it happens Laura Malcolm and Matt Driver are coming to the Multi place for 4 nights, for their first experience of a rich gay holiday.<\/p>\n

Today to Falaise. I\u2019m hoping there\u2019ll be an opportunity to buy a bog brush. We\u2019ve been almost two days without one. There\u2019s a great butch castle, something to do with William the Conqueror , which Matt Driver is very keen on. We visit it. Matt makes bow and arrow noises on the ramparts.\u00a0 Through head-sets comes a mad commentary \u2013 something about what the medieval people would have been doing in each room. Esme Manning, now out of her lemon pyjamas, and I get rather silly. Esme mimes the tailor cutting his cloth (absurd busy scissors), I help her with the king and queen being courtly, the young couple prancing and so on. We adopt that half-baked expression you see in medieval paintings. Other French visitors not impressed.<\/p>\n

Later I try to find the antique brocante in Falaise where I went with poor Val in the 80s. He bought the prie dieu and curly swirly crucifix mounted on red velvet which he dutch-gilded himself at home. They are still in his flat, rather dusty.\u00a0 But back then, his poor rich gay style was just beginning. We loved France. It meant only one thing: cheap antiques.<\/p>\n

On the way back we stop at Leclerc. I rush in to hunt down a bog brush. It is the only thing I buy and I\u2019m left standing, on the wrong side of the checkout, in my Prada mac (the second best one. I have a new one waiting in my wardrobe in London), holding the bog brush, while Laura, Esme and Charis complete the family shopping.<\/p>\n

Am much stared at.<\/p>\n

Back at the Fastness, things are getting out of hand. The children have got hold of a novel by Henry Miller. Hopkin can\u2019t be prevented from reading bits out. It is pornography. Charis and Esme snatch the book away and try to hide it. As they prepare dinner, the women recite their favourite bits from Gone with the Wind<\/em> (\u2018I swear to God I\u2019ll never go hungry again.\u2019) and gossip about incontinence pads.<\/p>\n

Intermittently, Matt Driver says, \u2018It\u2019s all too gay\u2019 and goes off to do some gardening. He comes back saying he\u2019s found a fairy ring. Throughout the evening he carries out regular inspections of this fairy ring.<\/p>\n

Narcissistically I wonder if somehow it\u2019s all my fault. Maybe I\u2019ve driven them to it. Or perhaps they\u2019re like this anyway.<\/p>\n

\"Laura,

Laura, Charis and Esme: 'too gay'<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Saturday 25th July 2009 The others are very relaxed. Esme Manning, the actress, spent the whole of yesterday in her new lemon pyjamas with scalloped edge from Tescos. Laura has some amazing bulbous shoes nearly 25 years old kept exclusively for Norman use. \u00a0 I come down in my new Alexander McQueen jeans (reduced) and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-138","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adrain-edge"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=138"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":184,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138\/revisions\/184"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=138"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=138"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poorlittlerichgays.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=138"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}